I call bs on autumn being the one. Maybe it's where I and others that I've spoken to fish, all the same, they say the same, autumn is crap.

That's just one of a list of things I hear I'd like to call out. Feel free to add more

I need new rods as can't reach them .

No you actually need casting lessons 🤔

Blokes who say they can see pinhead bubbles at 100+ yards with no binoculars, like bare eyes. Course you can mate; lunatic.

High tc rods bully fish/low tc rods don't have enough control

In reply to Post #1
The guys that the fish they lose are always complete lumps and the guys that always see a monster that dwarfs the lakes biggest but has never been out

In reply to Post #1
" A Quick Cheeky Overnighter"...

I use 'x' rig and everyone is hooked plumb in the centre of the mouth.

Im a "field tester".

In reply to Post #1
the real big fish don't get caught in the shallows as its too shallow

Lost one of the "A team" last night. Oh right, you see it? "Nah, but it felt like a good fish".

In reply to Post #1
Happy Days

I have not had a hookpull in the last 15 years

In reply to Post #3


"I'm a weekend angler holding down a full time job...been doing 4 nights a week"

"Buzzing"

"Vibes"

"Drum & Bass"

"Big Ups"

"Banger"

"I'm in the zone"

"This is matey's swim"

"The big Autumn munch up"

"Time isn't the biggest edge"

"Alright Geez"

In reply to Post #12
To be fair you've not actually hooked anything in the last fifteen years.

In reply to Post #13
Looks carpy

In reply to Post #15
Ahhhhhhhh.....forgot about that one...

discrimination towards London and Essex.

In reply to Post #17
Trakker base layers are the best I even wear them when I'm mountain climbing.

'You better get on *specific bait/rig/line etc* or you'll not catch anything

In reply to Post #14
.Perhaps thats what the guy who made the statement on here meant too

Drop the lead - I sell leads

They wont take a surface bait in here mate!

In reply to Post #22
BOSH
GET IN

I'm gonna do a winter campaign on here mate (repeat constantly all summer).....3 blanks in November and they're gone 😀

In reply to Post #24
Being in oxford when everyone is a gobby scouse gob*****

Ali Amidi is a lovely chap!

In reply to Post #6
This really annoys me! What is a ‘quick overnighter' exactly?? Is it quicker than the normal hours every othe F'ing night....

Hi All

If it's got a mouth curtain it's a bank virgin

If you shake it, it's fins stand up

And my personal favourite: the size of the bubbles relate to it's size

Best

Jon

In reply to Post #1
When they catch a couple and they come out with I've cracked the code now, and when I ran syndicate they would phone saying I'm ready for another challenge now as I've caught a few from my previous venue.... see above statement, or certain you tubers who tell you that this new piece of kit that they've just received is the best ever yeah right

Just want to do something different because apparently we are all doing the same thing

Just use what you are confident in .... Confidence the most overused word in carp fishing.

WKND angler who turns up on a Wednesday !!

In reply to Post #31
Lol

In reply to Post #1
When people are selling stuff and its allways used once lol

In reply to Post #33
For a week in france

In reply to Post #34
And it's more expensive than new prices

In reply to Post #1
YouTube vlogs that start with " today you find me at...."

Don't know why but that really irritates me 🥴

In reply to Post #27
A cheeky one is even worse 😡😡😡

In reply to Post #37
Name droppers

In reply to Post #27
And how is it a quick overnighters in winter lol

Last year I booked a weeks fishing in York with a lake side lodge...there is also a syndicate on the lake who can fish all swims apart from the ones allocated to the lodges...

I was fishing about 70 yards out and was doing ok...I didn't empty the place ....but was holding my own....

One time i was re-casting and one of the syndicate members was walking round with the usual “caught owt” what bait etc etc.... and when i hit my spot i was advised i was 6 inches to the left out.....

I politely told him to F*ck off..and ended the conversation.

Graced my net ? Graced the bank ? Simplistic are a couple that I think make people seem like idiots

In reply to Post #1
Spending on kit you don't really need - ‘bivvy slippers' ffs

In reply to Post #40
To be fair, you were 6 inches out, you'd have caught twice as many if you listened to the expert.

Me and my mate used to say that, or similar, to each other all the time. Or I'd watch him cast out then, when his cast is inch perfect, look away and claim not to have seen it.

In reply to Post #43
My favourite is " are you really gonna leave that there". Only to be used after several casts to land on the spot in a difficult wind.

''quick 24 hours''

''quick over nighter''

''get on the going bait''

''bruv''

''old scaley banger''

''chunk''

''carpy''

any discussion of ''range'' or ''im fishing at range..... 42 wraps''

mozza from fox also really annoys me. if he was on fire and i had a pint of water id drink it then glass him.

Banger. ....wraps. Instead of yards.

In reply to Post #46
So much in carp fishing makes me cringe now, a walk around places like Linear just highlights how much the pastime has changed over the last 25 years.

In reply to Post #46
Can't stand wraps instead of yards. Do the maths for f%€£ sake!!!

In reply to Post #46
banger grinds my gears.....

also

what reels are they? are they any good? no ive only used em for last 5 years because they are *****.

In reply to Post #48
SPOMB RODS..........WTF

In reply to Post #1
1) Can / cant have them on pop ups only on this water.

2) I usually fish at about 120 yards & they don't believe in wrapping up rods.

3) you need to strike on the take


Herd them all a few times

Their not having it today!

Hi All

"Nonsense you hear in carp fishing"

What Hamidi said.........

Best

Jon

In reply to Post #1
The use of the phrase 'match the hatch' when talking about boilies.

how many boilies hatch? pathetic.

Unit
It boils my urine

In reply to Post #54
how true is that one...boillies aren't exactly "buzzer" fishing

"match the sheep" might be more appropriate

Referring to an expensive season ticket as a "syndi"

“I've had every fish in here“......

Well **** off somewhere else then!

In reply to Post #55
haa yes i also hate that one.

i heard someone shout ''its a hippopotachunk'' on a very well know busy dayticket

In reply to Post #59
and..."Banger"

WTF is that about

In reply to Post #60
''im only on here to get a bend in the rod''

f*** off

In reply to Post #61
"The spot is 12 wraps"

I have no idea wtf that means

In reply to Post #58
Lol

Carp anglers are happy people who moan about nothing

In reply to Post #64

In reply to Post #64
DP

In reply to Post #54
Sh$t,

"The use of the phrase 'match the hatch' when talking about boilies"

I'm guilty as hell on that one.....



Best

Jon

In reply to Post #67
I absolutely despise that phrase. It's got to be the most retarded one of the lot. Understandable if your chucking bits of fluff or zigs around, boiled baits?

The one that gets me is 'occurence' closely followed by 'proper old warrior' - nobody ever saw a carp have a fight!!

In reply to Post #66
Double penetration?

In reply to Post #37
Agree! What's cheeky about it....?

In reply to Post #68
I have no problem with your point of view at all

To most old school guys I would suggest its more about time of year / season than the correlation your making to the fluff chuckers

Best

Jon

'Filling in' a lake with bait...

Also the 'baiting campaign' - you're chucking fish food in a lake man, not taking on the enemy in 19th century Russia

The word “carp”.

I mean, cmon, grown men falling out over fish

In reply to Post #1
calling spod mix "gear"

saying you "pulled off a lake"

Washing your boilies out in water for over 24hrs then pouring a £10 bottle of liquid flavour over them. Completely pointlessas zero of that liquid willabsorb into the bait.

Calling yourself hardcore if you go fishing in the moddle of winter in nothing more than a wooly jumper and a bedchair (caaaarpy).

In reply to Post #75
Fish "Sloshing" out...What the .... is that all about....

In reply to Post #1
Nonsense you hear in carp fishing

Grown men on a carp forum, expressing their jealousy and envy

Sat for 24hrs blanking, then made a tactical change and hey presto
Shortened the hooklength by a quarter of an inch, and changed colour of the boilie stop

In reply to Post #75
The terribly unpractical act of folding reel handles.

Also when taking a pic with a carp, looking at its head or its tail with longing, passionate look.

Spod, distance and bag ‘work' always tickles me.
As do the people who ‘haven't looked back' since buying an irrelevant object identical to that which it replaced which was perfectly adequate until they were duped by a marketing dept.
And the drag being called a clutch, when it's a brake.
Pulling out of fish... sounds plain illegal and just doesn't happen in the sense it's meant.
Working hard for a fish when more often than not it involved sitting or laying down for longer than we have evolved to do

In reply to Post #1
Get on the Speero !

Boshing !

Chunkasaurus !

Just about every Carp Angling brand these days obviously think, that we the Angler are all complete and utter Dullards with the crap they are attempting to sell us at greatly inflated prices.

A lot of Carp Angling is total nonsense these days.

P.S Get on the Outlaw, you will take your local apart on it

In reply to Post #78
I'm guilty of that but only because I was cursed with a smile only a mother could love 😂😂

It really has become cringeworthy , it's embarrassing to be called a carp angler now or be viewed in the same manner as these so called ‘celeb anglers'

In reply to Post #25
Take it you blanked in Oxford whilst the scouser next door caught a lot of fish

Rinsing a lake out! WTF.

Proper old character
WTF is that all about

Worked hard for that fish !!!

No you were horizontal 95% of the time camped smoking gear and sniffing talc and drinking copious amounts of Stella 😔

In reply to Post #85
33 & a ¼ wraps.......

Skills 😡

A "campaign". What the f? Wasn't that what they used to term long term war battles?

In reply to Post #72
What time of the year is a squid and octopus hatch? Sorry Johnny, I couldn't resist

I think matching the hatch is only really applicable to what fly a fluff chucker would choose given what time of year it was and what was emerging at the time. Saying similar about boilies makes no sense to me.

In reply to Post #62
I hate the wraps one. My response is either "f*** me your fishing close in" or just continually convert what they say to yards and most think I'm talking about a different spot.

Them: "Yeah I'm fishing at 15 wraps to a gravel patch"

Me: "aye there's a bar at 60 yards"

Them: "oh well I'm on a patch at 15 wraps"

Me: "yep, 60 yards is the place to be"

In reply to Post #90
Add even more confusion if you're fishing 9' or 10' rods

In reply to Post #1
"Bend over, you won't feel a thing".......

I tell you, it normally hurts.

In reply to Post #91
Can just imagine someone thinking they're fishing at extreme distance with 9ft wraps

Not sure where it started from but ...."the CarpGods"....FFS!

"The Carp Gods repayed me" or the "The Carp Gods are punishing me" ????

I worked really hard to catch that fish

'Work' I doubt if some people know of have experienced the true meaning of the word 'work'
Fishing is meant to be an escape from work

urrrghh

''i got a cracking donk on the drop''

"I'm on such and such syndicate". No you're not, your on a membership ticket. A syndicate is where you share any profits made. Syndicate my arse.

Why are they called 'Sleep Systems' it's just a bag and a chair FFS!

Carp fishing is not full of miserable people

In reply to Post #95
"""""I worked really hard to catch that fish

'Work' I doubt if some people know of have experienced the true meaning of the word 'work'
Fishing is meant to be an escape from work """""

Im a farmers lad. I had my first litter of pigs at the age 8. Ive grafted all my life. I take that into my fishing and it has meant success. Ive had over 50 fish from my syndicate including the largest in the lake, all down to hard work. People with your attitude have had just 2. I hope you dont change.

In reply to Post #97
With regards to the naming of waters as syndicates or membership clubs, its a bit more complicated than that.

In reply to Post #1
"Bust one out", in an old sock

In reply to Post #100
Blimey wasn't expecting a reply like that on a jovial thread like this

You carry on working, don't forget to name everything as you go

In reply to Post #103
I bet he's got a name for you

In reply to Post #104
Worker?



Go on I've set you up, let me have it

In reply to Post #105
I'm not like that

In reply to Post #100
didn't the pig do most of the work? lol

In reply to Post #107
'Sow' you would think

In reply to Post #100
Chill out Justin, his comment wasn't aimed at you but you seemed to take it personally.

Maybe you should put some work into your personality, not just pigs and fishing.

In reply to Post #94
Blasphemers. 😆 It's not as if carp need Gods of their own. Or do they?

In reply to Post #110
"Pond"...everything seems to be a pond. From half an acre to 5,000 acres. They're not ponds you fukcwits, a pond is in your garden....

Watch the water 💦 In the dark

Nah I'm all tucked up watching a film and keeping disturbance to a minimum 👍

In reply to Post #107
Cheeky swine

In reply to Post #113
He could be telling porkies

In reply to Post #45
People who call people on the telly by their nickname.

Makes me cringe hearing grown men call someone they have never met by their nickname.

"I saw that rig Pecky was using" *vomit*

His mates call him it, you aren't his mate.

In reply to Post #108
Sorry Mr. Herriot

In reply to Post #115
''i need to give old nashy a ring to replace the top section on my scope''

i cringed out my skin writing that

Camo bait boats

In reply to Post #1
Terry used to fish here

In reply to Post #119
But honestly he did, I showed him what rig to use and what spot and he caught

Camo pop ups!

In reply to Post #121
camo Y fronts

In reply to Post #122

In reply to Post #122
I camo my own after a few days on the bank

In reply to Post #124

In reply to Post #119
Funny that, I actually used to fish a water that Terry Hearn angled on. Thing is, he didn't empty it, but Chris Logsden did

In reply to Post #118
Gave up on them after I lost my 7th one in the far margins...

In reply to Post #1
Editing their photos so the fish is really black in the shadows and then having the cheek to say.

"It was a real old dark warrior"

Makes a bit of a mockery of the sport I love I think.

In reply to Post #128
I miss the good old days....people (usually spotty yoofs) coming up to you and asking

- can i borrow a hook mister?
- can i nick a roll up mister?
- can i nick a light mister?

nowadays it's all munga, wraps, pond, and worst of the lot "I'm sponsored".

In reply to Post #129
Resetting rigs and balanced set ups.

In reply to Post #130
You are saying balancing a rig is nonsense?

In reply to Post #131
I think means rod and reel balanced 🤔

In reply to Post #132
I'm not sure I agree whatever he means 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

In reply to Post #130
I don't see whats wrong with a rig that resets especially if there are silvers about. Even if you believe a rejected rig is marked by the fish and will not be picked up again, it will still be there for the next fish.

In reply to Post #1
They only come out at night ...

In reply to Post #135
The lean and hungry type?

Using a bait boat is cheating.

I only trust my self tied knots....

“Only used for one week in France”

There's no bream in here mate...

They'll only eat the Cell in here/this is a Cell water

a quick 24 hours

In reply to Post #90
Like that mate ,made me laugh that did

In reply to Post #46
Wraps 🤷‍♂️

In reply to Post #144
Shouting get in when landing a fish.

Do you know who I am ?
No.

The obsession of getting those yellow Vass stripes into a capture photo.

In reply to Post #146
I'm Ronnie Pickering

In reply to Post #146
I'm Ronnie Pickering

https://youtube.com/watch?v=r0dcv6GKNNw

In reply to Post #144
skills mate

In reply to Post #1
It really winds me up when anglers have there rods really close together, low to the ground and handles folded.
Purely because its looks neat.
Makes me laugh when they can't pick a rod up without knocking another rod or their reels are all gritty from rain splashing the ground !
Also when you bait an unusual spot up and the angler who was fishing opposite just happens to be in the swim and fishing it when you turn up next day !
But I'm getting to the age where everything pisses me off now lol.

In reply to Post #151
Shannon, everything has always pissed you off!

Hope you are keeping well!

In reply to Post #152
Every lake holds a massive Common that has never been caught

In reply to Post #149


He's had some fist in his time

Ronny Pickering 2 is a better watch, with the cyclist

"Ive just spodded the granny out of it"

In reply to Post #151
I'm with you on that. I was out today and there was a budding kordphile tucked away in a swim I walked past... he had three rods stupidly close together, reel handles all folded of course. What a knob.

In reply to Post #156
"they are really riggy in here"

In reply to Post #152
Hi Tom
Was i that bad lol ?
I'm good mate, still alive and fishing 👍

In reply to Post #158
Good to hear that you are well. I did hear that you were down at Bennetts recently.

Nah, you were one of the best lake owners!

In reply to Post #146
Do you know who I am ?

That's a classic

I was once fishing a water with two of my mates. Muppet on the other bank was casting all over and well past half way into my mates spots. My mate shouted across the lake at him. the reply was

"do you know who I am", "I'm so and so and I fish for X bait company"

He then continued to hurl abuse across the lake at my mate, bearing in mind the fool was fishing by himself for starters. I saved his life that day. My mate is a very accomplished boxer, Thai boxer, kick boxer and he has done a bit of ground fighting, he wanted to kill him lol

The only regret i have nowadays is that i did stop him. The man is a complete and utter tool with a track record

Wonder if its the same muppet

In reply to Post #160
“Gnarly” Gets my goat. Basically anything but a Simmo with its rib hanging out.

“Match the hatch” wtf

In reply to Post #161
When netting a fish shouting wicked
And when losing one acting like three year old who's just had their sweets
taken away

In reply to Post #151
But I'm getting to the age where everything pisses me off now

Welcome. This is why you only live to three score years and ten (and a bit more if you are lucky). If you get grumpier the older you get (and you do), imagine what it would be like in your 90's, 100's and beyond!

In reply to Post #156
Says the man with a personalised lure fishing number plate.....kettle and pot.

Delks and Shimmies
Stop being a baby waby and call them by their proper names

In reply to Post #165
Thats easy,just call them ****

In reply to Post #160
I'd have signed up for PPV.

In reply to Post #161
🤣🤣,and “that bait don't work in here mate”

In reply to Post #160
There's a member on here who dropped the ‘do you know who I am‘ on the phone to a manufacturer some years back.. he knows who he is

In reply to Post #169
It's not Ronny Pickering is it

In reply to Post #169
He has always denied it. For balance. 😂

In reply to Post #171

In reply to Post #169
Oooooh naughty

In reply to Post #169
Someone wwlho doesn't post much these days by any chance?

In reply to Post #174
You'd need a Linkypoo to the old thread to deny or confirm that

In reply to Post #175
you lot have better memories than me.

In reply to Post #159
Yep. I will do the odd winter session on Bennets this year as a decent chance of a bite. Fish are coming along nicely too.

Being in a "team" of any sort seems to be all the rage these days, although i think the word team should be banned from carp fishing language, the A team of the lake realy winds me up

I'm a consultant

In reply to Post #169
I remember that.........quite an Old Geezer if I remember rightly........

There's no 40"s in er mate...

People talking about an item of tackle as “never missing a beat”. “Bombproof” is another one.

In reply to Post #179
I've found if you take 6 of those letters away it's entirely accurate for those types....

In reply to Post #183
Mal thats far too clever for most on here,you may need to spell it out the letters are in the right order too

In reply to Post #184
Poor education. I blame the teachers. ...

In reply to Post #185