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Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm.
It was a disaster!
Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!
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In reply to Post #2480
brill 
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Went to my first Isis birthday party today , musical chairs was a bit slow but **** me pass the parcel weren't half quick .
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My neighbor just confronted me about stuff going missing from her washing line ,
**** me , I nearly sh1t her pants
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A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!"
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I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
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In reply to Post #2
A dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.
'Son, where were you today?'
Son says 'at school dad.'
Robot slaps the son!
'Ok, I watched a dvd at my mates!'
'What dvd?'
'Toy story.'
Robot slaps the son again!
'Ok, it was a porno' cries the son.
'What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was' says the dad.
Robot slaps the dad!
Mum laughs 'HaHaHa! He's certainly your son.'
Robot slaps the mum!
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In reply to Post #1
My missus left me because of my obsession with the footy , bitch , we'd been together ten seasons
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In reply to Post #2473
Paddy opens Micks fridge and asks him why he keeps a empty bottle of milk in their.
In case somebody wants a black coffe you thick **** was his reply 
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In reply to Post #2472
I met our postman at the gate the other day, I don't know what surprised him more, the fact that I was naked or the fact that I knew where he lived 
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Went for my routine check-up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my backside! Do you think I should change dentists?
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In reply to Post #2470
There's an Englishman , Irishman ,Scotsman and normally a Welshman but he's still in France
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In reply to Post #2469
Word has it that the Welsh have found another use for their sheep. .....it's called wool.
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In reply to Post #2466
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Barbara was lying in bed one night. Fred was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me...
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck..."
Angrily, he threw back the sheets and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Barb asked..
"To get my teeth!"
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NON Carp stuff