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In reply to Post #187
My mate called round earlier. "I didn't know you had a dog," he said."Yeah, we got him about a week ago. Poor little sod had been abandoned.""Abandoned?" He said, "Who'd abandon a friendly little fella like him?""Makes you wonder doesn't it," I replied, "But some cruel ******* had just left him tied to a post outside the supermarket."
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In reply to Post #186
I rang babe station the other nite,a woman answers and says
"hi sexy what can i do for you"I said fecking hide,my wifes coming and I've lost the remote
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In reply to Post #185
thanks to "50 shades of grey"the wifes kindle now smells like "50 cans of tuna"
 
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In reply to Post #167
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In reply to Post #180
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In reply to Post #182
The wife crawled into bed last night. I stroked her hair, then worked my way down her body until I was gently rubbing her pussy. We then had passionate sex for 10 minutes.Then, just as I climaxed, I had a realisation.
I live alone with the dog.
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In reply to Post #180
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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In reply to Post #180
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I was in Australia with the wife recently, when she was stung right on her downstairs by a wasp,
i phoned a local doctor, who turned out to be a bit of a laid back surfer type,
"Doc, please help me"
"Hey man, what's up?"
"My wife has been stung on her vagina and it's completely closed up"
"Bummer, dude"
"Cheers Doc, bye"
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In reply to Post #174
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In reply to Post #177
Just met Darth Vader's corrupt brother.
Taxi Vader.
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Katie Price has been quoted as saying that 'Megan Fox or Kelly Brook could play her in any film adaptations of her books' as they come across as glamorous peopleIn related news Peter Beardsley has insisted that Brad Pitt play him in his upcoming football biopic
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In reply to Post #175
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England shock. Wayne Rooney has tested positive for a performance enhancing rug.
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I was sat crying on the bus when an old woman came over and asked if I was ok."I've done something really embarrassing," I replied, tears streaming down my face."Aww, it cant be that bad" she frowned, giving me her hankichief."I'm afraid it is," I sniffed, wiping the sh!t off my legs with it.
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NON Carp stuff