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Robin Van Persie and Wayne rooney will now be known as ... Fatman and Robin
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In reply to Post #263
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In reply to Post #263
Belarusian shot put gold medallist Nadzeya Ostapchuk has tested positive for a banned substance.
Testicles.
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In reply to Post #1
Liam Gallagher, Russell Brand, George Michael, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell....
it's a good job they don't do drug tests for the closing ceremony.
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In reply to Post #261
Paddy buys the new automatic BMW...
He drives the car perfectly well during the day,
but at night it just won't move at all
he tries driving the car at night for a week but still
no luck.
He then furiously calls the BMW dealer,
the technician asks, "Sir, you are sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger Paddy replies, " What do you take for an idiot!!? I use D for the day and N for the night
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In reply to Post #256
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I got a new deodorant today, the instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. Now I can hardly walk, but my farts smell awesome...
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i,ve been buying a lot of beer recently.....god,i hope i'm not becoming a shopaholic
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my sex change from male to female,went really well yesterday.
It was so successful,i'm still trying to reverse out of the f--king hospital car park.
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In reply to Post #256
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room comple
tely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now??" Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!!" To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat
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Apparently Rebecca Adlington's going to retire from swimming and become a wine taster.
She thinks she's got a nose for it.
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NON Carp stuff