CarpForum - Fishing Forum
   [Log-In] or [Register]
Bulk Fish Pellets
Advertise to thousands of anglers a day!  Click HERE to see how
      Home            Search       Help / FAQs   Rules / Usage 
Who's Online Member List      Articles           Gallery           Weather     
  New Posts: 0
 New Posts  Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register]
carpy09
Posts: 13753
carpy09
   Old Thread  #348 16 Sept 2012 at 4.59pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #344
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #347 16 Sept 2012 at 4.51pm    Login    Register
I phoned a Chinese restaurant last night and the man said,"Hello, I'm Wan King the chef:L" I said,"No worries, I'll call back later
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #346 16 Sept 2012 at 4.46pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #344
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #345 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm    Login    Register
Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 days. Why don't you answer the phone? Girl replies, those are Our opening times you tw@t
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #344 16 Sept 2012 at 4.32pm    Login    Register



A midget woman goes to the doctors and complains Dr I have a very itchy fanny". the doctor inspects and says," Duhhh It's the fur on top of your ugg boots!!"
carpy09
Posts: 13753
carpy09
   Old Thread  #343 16 Sept 2012 at 3.47pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #339
carpy09
Posts: 13753
carpy09
   Old Thread  #342 16 Sept 2012 at 3.45pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #334
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #341 16 Sept 2012 at 2.55pm    Login    Register
couple of crackers there ian
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #340 16 Sept 2012 at 11.53am    Login    Register
Man goes to Marks & Spencers to buy her wife a maternity bra.... Shop assistant asks "What bust?". Man says "The f.....g condom
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #339 16 Sept 2012 at 11.51am    Login    Register
Wife buys some crotchless undies.. puts her leg up on sofa and says to hubby "'want some of this?" hubby replies "f..k off! Look what it's done to your knickers
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #338 16 Sept 2012 at 11.42am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #334
D_Viper
Posts: 3119
D_Viper
   Old Thread  #337 16 Sept 2012 at 11.40am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #334


I told the wife to read this one, she did then said "was it his brother or something?"
Bless her............Blonde & all that
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #336 16 Sept 2012 at 11.40am    Login    Register
lv just been down my garden and saw my dog shagging a cabbage silly ba....d must have thought it was a collie
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #335 16 Sept 2012 at 11.35am    Login    Register
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race Evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."!!
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #334 16 Sept 2012 at 11.34am    Login    Register

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left. A few days later, the same guy....'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How lo
ng before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back. 'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves? 'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!'!!
Page: 161 of 184  
   Advertising disclosure  
   Copyright 2002-2023  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk