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My wife started flashing her nipples trying to get into a club.
I shouted, "For ****'s sake, love, pull your skirt down!"
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In reply to Post #344
 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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I phoned a Chinese restaurant last night and the man said,"Hello, I'm Wan King the chef:L" I said,"No worries, I'll call back later
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In reply to Post #344
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 days. Why don't you answer the phone? Girl replies, those are Our opening times you tw@t
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A midget woman goes to the doctors and complains Dr I have a very itchy fanny". the doctor inspects and says," Duhhh It's the fur on top of your ugg boots!!"
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In reply to Post #339
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In reply to Post #334
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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couple of crackers there ian 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Man goes to Marks & Spencers to buy her wife a maternity bra.... Shop assistant asks "What bust?". Man says "The f.....g condom
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Wife buys some crotchless undies.. puts her leg up on sofa and says to hubby "'want some of this?" hubby replies "f..k off! Look what it's done to your knickers
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In reply to Post #334
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In reply to Post #334
I told the wife to read this one, she did then said "was it his brother or something?" 
Bless her............Blonde & all that 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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lv just been down my garden and saw my dog shagging a cabbage silly ba....d must have thought it was a collie
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race Evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."!!
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NON Carp stuff