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WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #388 30 Sept 2012 at 5.18pm    Login    Register
Whats gareth gates and jeremy forrest got in common??

They both been fu**ed by stammers!
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #387 30 Sept 2012 at 5.16pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #386
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #386 30 Sept 2012 at 5.00pm    Login    Register
What do Rio Ferdinand and Jeremy Forrest have in common?

Both have absolutely fcuk all chance of getting Bale.
MrGrantski
Posts: 953
MrGrantski
   Old Thread  #385 30 Sept 2012 at 4.57pm    Login    Register
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says, "Fek off, you won't bring it back."
carpy09
Posts: 13763
carpy09
   Old Thread  #384 30 Sept 2012 at 4.55pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #382
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #383 30 Sept 2012 at 4.50pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #382
FFS.......
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #382 30 Sept 2012 at 4.39pm    Login    Register
Paddy's wife comes home from work to find he has nailed all her sex toys to the wall she screams you silly fooker paddy i said i wanted a DADO RAIL
carpy09
Posts: 13763
carpy09
   Old Thread  #381 29 Sept 2012 at 1.31pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #379
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #380 29 Sept 2012 at 9.45am    Login    Register
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really like to see your handsome face ." She said James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!" Oh please? The girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Really, I can't", He replies. "my wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asks once more time and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into to bed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and says, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #379 29 Sept 2012 at 9.41am    Login    Register
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,

'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'



The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.



He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,



'Dammit......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'



sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #378 29 Sept 2012 at 9.33am    Login    Register
A bra and some jump-leads walked into a bar.The barman says I'm not serving u two! Your off your t.ts and your mate looks like he's gonna start something
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #377 29 Sept 2012 at 9.27am    Login    Register
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one egg says to the other.. "I've got a huge crack!" the other egg replies "Stop f...ing teasing me, i'm not hard yet
harveyboy
Posts: 1389
   Old Thread  #376 29 Sept 2012 at 9.08am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #375
fantastic
dannyf
Posts: 144
dannyf
   Old Thread  #375 28 Sept 2012 at 11.09pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1
Hi, I'm hosting a charity disco and raffle night on the 6th October, to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can't come then let me know.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #374 28 Sept 2012 at 12.43pm    Login    Register
I don't like to blow my own trumpet...but I just can't help myself since I had my bottom ribs removed.
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