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sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #428 10 Oct 2012 at 11.38am    Login    Register

The police force were having problems getting recruits so they had a recruitment drive. An englishman, scotsman and an irishman went to join. First in was the englishman and the sergeant says tommy if you can answer one question your in. Who killed John F Kennedy. The englishman says Lee Harvey Oswald. Sergeant says your in go through to the back and get your uniform. Next man in is Jock seargeant
asks him who killed JFK. The scotsman says Lee Harvey Oswald. Same thing go through to the back get your uniform. Paddy walks in and the sergeant says we are having problems recruiting for the peelers get this one question right and your in. Who killed John F Kennedy? Paddy looks quizzically and answers I don't know. The sergeant says ok go through to the back and think about it. On the way Paddy meets the englishman and scotsman dressed in police uniform. They say look Paddy we haven't been in the police five minutes and we are on traffic duty. Paddy replies by Jesus I'm not even in yet and I'm on a murder enquiry...
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #427 9 Oct 2012 at 11.36am    Login    Register
Condoms don't necessarily guarantee safe sex anymore......a friend of mine was wearing one when he was beaten up by his birds husband.
84Biglad
Posts: 44
84Biglad
   Old Thread  #426 8 Oct 2012 at 9.22pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1
Sori guys
MrGrantski
Posts: 953
MrGrantski
   Old Thread  #425 8 Oct 2012 at 8.19pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #423
seriously?!?
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #424 8 Oct 2012 at 7.08pm    Login    Register
When I was a contestant on countdown,

Rachel Riley asked me to pick my numbers.

"Two large and four small please."She said.

"They are, 25,75,6,9,3,8. And the target is 476.

After sitting blankly staring for the 30 seconds.I was asked.

Jamie,what have you got?"

"A hardon." I replied.

Mike
Posts: 12588
Mike
   Old Thread  #423 8 Oct 2012 at 7.06pm    Login    Register
Post 419 has been suppressed because of a offensive/sensitive nature
sjaisie
Posts: 2789
   Old Thread  #422 8 Oct 2012 at 6.18pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #419
84Biglad
MrGrantski
Posts: 953
MrGrantski
   Old Thread  #421 8 Oct 2012 at 6.08pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #419
lol!!!
Carpman69
Posts: 1
Carpman69
   Old Thread  #420 8 Oct 2012 at 4.09pm    Login    Register
Paddy & Murphy driving down the road when Paddy say's to Murphy" Stick your head out of the window & tell me if my indicator's working?!
"Murphy sticks his head out & shouts "Yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no......"
84Biglad
Posts: 44
84Biglad
   Old Thread  #419 8 Oct 2012 at 3.37pm    Login    Register
Message Suppressed by Forum Moderator.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #418 6 Oct 2012 at 7.44pm    Login    Register
What do we want ???
Action on Jimmy Saville's sex crimes
When do we want it ??
Now then Now then
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #417 6 Oct 2012 at 5.01pm    Login    Register
This sexy girl came up to me in a club last night and said, "Why the f**k have you been staring at me for ages with your tongue sticking out?""I was undressing you in my mind," I said, "but I was struggling to take your bra off."
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #416 6 Oct 2012 at 10.27am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #415
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #415 6 Oct 2012 at 9.49am    Login    Register
A blonde takes her car to a mechanic. he says 'nothing to worry about, just sh.t in the air filter'. She says 'Brilliant, so how many times a day do i do that
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #414 6 Oct 2012 at 9.48am    Login    Register
What has two wings and a halo? A Japanese phone. Wing, Wing! HALO?
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