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PPPIKER
Posts: 540
PPPIKER
   Old Thread  #550 12 Nov 2012 at 7.39pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #549
Mods i find that last joke deeply offensive and would like it removed please


WE ARE MILLWALL SUPER MILLWALL NO ONE LIKES US WE DON'T CARE
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #549 12 Nov 2012 at 6.51pm    Login    Register
Snow white arrived home one evening to find her home destroyed by fire.She was especially worried because she'd left all seven dwarves asleep inside.As she scrambled among the wreckage,frantically calling their names,suddenly she heard the cry,"palace for the cup"."Thank goodness",sobbed Snow White.At least Dopey's still alive.
carpy09
Posts: 13753
carpy09
   Old Thread  #548 12 Nov 2012 at 1.47pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #544
bobbinslap
Posts: 20
bobbinslap
   Old Thread  #547 12 Nov 2012 at 12.24pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #544
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #546 12 Nov 2012 at 8.31am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #543
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #545 12 Nov 2012 at 7.42am    Login    Register
dp
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #544 12 Nov 2012 at 7.42am    Login    Register
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great.

Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night."

Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight."

While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move.

Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a$$hole
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #543 12 Nov 2012 at 7.37am    Login    Register
Paddy is in a disco, he ask's girl "How about a sh@g" She replies "i'm on my menstrual cycle". "Great" says paddy "i'm on my scooter, i'll follow u home!
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #542 12 Nov 2012 at 7.33am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #539
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #541 9 Nov 2012 at 6.32pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #539
deanmac
Posts: 315
deanmac
   Old Thread  #540 9 Nov 2012 at 5.14pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #539
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #539 9 Nov 2012 at 7.47am    Login    Register
An 83 year old gentleman arrived in paris by plane.as he was fumbling in his bag for his passport a stern french lady asked if he had been to paris before.he admitted he had indeed previously .the lady sarcastically said then you should know to have your passport out and waiting sir.
The gentleman said i didn't have to show it last time.Impossible!!the woman said,you british have always had to show your passports to get through here.
The man responded by whispering,well when i came ashore on the beach on D day in 1944,i couldn't find any f--king french men to give it too! WEAR YOUR POPPY WITH PRIDE
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #538 8 Nov 2012 at 9.30pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #537
lincs-carper
Posts: 864
   Old Thread  #537 8 Nov 2012 at 9.15pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #536
My missus says she wants 5grand. I asks what for?
I want bigger boobs she says.
You don't need 5grand love, all you need is a piece of toilet roll,
Rub it between your boobs I say.
Really will it work?
Course it will, look what its done for your arse.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #536 8 Nov 2012 at 7.26pm    Login    Register
Jimmy Savile spots Whitney Houston in Hell."Now then now then Whitney, what are you doing down here?""Something i shouldn't" she said "Too much pure crack in my dressing room.""That's exactly the reason I'm here." he replied.
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