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ralph69
Posts: 10362
ralph69
   Old Thread  #751 23 Dec 2012 at 11.40am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #749
carpy09
Posts: 13832
carpy09
   Old Thread  #750 23 Dec 2012 at 11.11am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #749
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #749 23 Dec 2012 at 11.09am  0  Login    Register
A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said there had been invented a new machine that would transfer-by kinetic energy a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out.

They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor initially set the pain-transfer level to 10 percent, saying that was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50 percent.

The husband continued feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they returned home they found the milkman dead on the porch.
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #748 23 Dec 2012 at 9.19am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #747
nwpiker41
Posts: 8093
nwpiker41
   Old Thread  #747 22 Dec 2012 at 6.45pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #746
A couple were Christmas shopping and the shopping centre was packed.

As the wife walked through a store she was surprised to look
around and see that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so
worried, she called him on her mobile to ask him where he was.

In a calm voice, he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went into
about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace
that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you
one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that shop."
"Well, I'm in the pub next door to it."
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #746 22 Dec 2012 at 12.16pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #745
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #745 22 Dec 2012 at 11.32am  0  Login    Register
This Christmas shopping is a load of w@nk.

I went to boots....and they don't sell boots....

I went to Selfridge and they don't sell fridges....

went to Curry's.....not a curry in site!

So I tried Virgin Megastore and what a fcuking disappointment that was....

It had closed down in 2007
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #744 22 Dec 2012 at 11.30am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #742
noj
Posts: 11459
Social photographer...
   Old Thread  #743 21 Dec 2012 at 8.49pm  0  Login    Register
My gold plated butt-plug business is being sued by Apple.
Apparently they have a patent on overpriced crap for A***holes.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #742 21 Dec 2012 at 6.50pm  0  Login    Register
Fred Talbot is forecasting some unpleasant showers.

Mainly the ones in prison
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #741 21 Dec 2012 at 6.49pm  0  Login    Register
My wife was dressing for work and said..."How come your cock doesn't get as hard it used to?"

as she tucked her tits into her knickers!
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #740 21 Dec 2012 at 10.51am  0  Login    Register
Went to the doctors yesterday suffering from premature ejaculation. Doctor said, "This must be very stressful for your wife." I said,

"To be honest it's getting on her tits."
D_Viper
Posts: 3119
D_Viper
   Old Thread  #739 20 Dec 2012 at 6.00pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #734
Pmsl
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #738 20 Dec 2012 at 11.01am  0  Login    Register
I ran my hands over her breasts, untied her legs, spread them and lifted them in the air to reveal her waiting juicy hole, I pushed in as much as I could until she could take no more.....

































Right that's the turkey stuffed now to peel the potatoes....
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #737 20 Dec 2012 at 10.19am  0  Login    Register
I was in town shopping today and stopped a woman in the street.

"Excuse me love, have you any idea where I can get a decent jumper?"

"Have you tried Fat Face?" she replied.

"Good idea," I said.

"Do you know anywhere?" I said, turning to my wife.
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