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catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1112 14 Feb 2013 at 7.46pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1111
I bought a valentines card for everyone at our local tourettes society.

It's the thought that c--ts
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1111 14 Feb 2013 at 7.31pm    Login    Register
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorious
home that completely acquits him of his girlfriends murder.

Footprints
baggiebob
Posts: 263
baggiebob
   Old Thread  #1110 14 Feb 2013 at 3.28pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1109
Roses are red
Violets are gorgeous
But don't ever try to surprise Oscar Pistorrius !!!
Carpbinhio
Posts: 479
Carpbinhio
   Old Thread  #1109 14 Feb 2013 at 1.57pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1108
Oscar pestorius was chilling having a few beers when his missus came home to suprise him for valentines day. She kept having a go at him so he shot her! Apparently she accused him of being legless!

Sorry I couldn't resist.
PPPIKER
Posts: 540
PPPIKER
   Old Thread  #1108 14 Feb 2013 at 11.32am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1107
Oscar Pistorius has been charged with murder even though he claims it was an accident.
Police spokesman say " He hasn't got a leg to stand on"
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1107 14 Feb 2013 at 5.15am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1106
Roses are straight,

Violets are twisted,

Bend over love,

You're about to get fisted.


happy valentines day Girls
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1106 14 Feb 2013 at 4.59am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1105
Doyle
Posts: 2148
Doyle
   Old Thread  #1105 13 Feb 2013 at 10.15pm    Login    Register
I got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that?

We stopped having sex years ago.
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1104 13 Feb 2013 at 1.24pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1101
carpy09
Posts: 13832
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1103 13 Feb 2013 at 1.09pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1101
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1102 13 Feb 2013 at 10.57am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1101
been flyed that
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1101 13 Feb 2013 at 9.54am    Login    Register
"G'day mate, Fosters help line. What's the problem dude?".

"I'm in Australia with the girlfriend and she's been stung on the vagina by a Hornet, and now her v@gina has completely closed up".

"Bummer dude".

"Thanks mate, bye."
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1100 13 Feb 2013 at 8.44am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1099
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1099 13 Feb 2013 at 8.28am    Login    Register
My son looked upset today so I asked him what was wrong.

He sat down on the sofa beside me and said, "Can I talk to you about having sex with my girlfriend?"

"Of course," I replied.

He said, "Can you stop doing it please
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1098 12 Feb 2013 at 10.14pm    Login    Register
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked, Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?

Maria: Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better

Than you.

Wife: Who said you iron better than me?

Maria: Jor huzban he say so.

Wife: Oh yeah?

Maria: The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.

Wife: Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?

Maria: Jor hozban didâ

Wife increasingly agitated: Oh he did, did he?

Maria: The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, And did my husband say that as well?

Maria: No Senora¦ The gardener did.

Wife: So how much do you want?
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