CarpForum - Fishing Forum
   [Log-In] or [Register]
Bulk Fish Pellets
Advertise to thousands of anglers a day!  Click HERE to see how
      Home            Search       Help / FAQs   Rules / Usage 
Who's Online Member List      Articles           Gallery           Weather     
  New Posts: 0
 New Posts  Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register]
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1352 16 Mar 2013 at 6.55am    Login    Register
I put on a porn film, earlier.

It was really dark, and I could just make out a fat guy with his cock in his hand.

I then realzed, I'd forgotten to turn the TV on.
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2194
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #1351 15 Mar 2013 at 9.46pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1350
She certainly does
nwpiker41
Posts: 8093
nwpiker41
   Old Thread  #1350 15 Mar 2013 at 8.04pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1349
Caught the Wife Masturbating during a Rowan Atkinson Movie earlier. She loves a good Bean Flick
nwpiker41
Posts: 8093
nwpiker41
   Old Thread  #1349 15 Mar 2013 at 6.07pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1348
My pornstar friend died recently, so at his cremation, out of a mark of respect, we scattered his ashes all over his wife's face !!!
carpy09
Posts: 13763
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1348 15 Mar 2013 at 1.27pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
carpy09
Posts: 13763
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1347 15 Mar 2013 at 1.26pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1346 15 Mar 2013 at 12.32pm    Login    Register
I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and said, "Can you have my children? I'll be no longer than a few minutes, I promise."

"Sure," she replied,

I said, "Great, get your knickers off then."
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1345 15 Mar 2013 at 10.54am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1344 15 Mar 2013 at 10.54am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1343 15 Mar 2013 at 10.15am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1342 15 Mar 2013 at 10.10am    Login    Register
Went down on my girlfriend this morning even though she was on her period.

Just getting into the spirit of Red Nose Day.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1341 15 Mar 2013 at 10.04am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
...........
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1340 15 Mar 2013 at 7.48am    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
nice one
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1339 15 Mar 2013 at 4.33am    Login    Register
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike
MattH85
Posts: 3680
MattH85
   Old Thread  #1338 14 Mar 2013 at 10.28pm    Login    Register
In reply to Post #1337
A knob has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an *******, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Son: Dad, what does 'gay' mean?
Dad: the dictionary says It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

little Tommy comes home from school and is sitting eating his tea.
"mum what are bitches and pussy?"
his mothers annoyed but thinks for a second and then points to the dog "thats a bitch, its a female dog" she then points at the cat "and thats a pussy"
little tommy finishes his tea and goes to find his dad. "Dad what are bitches and pussy?" his dad thinks for a second, looks in a drawer and takes out a porn mag and draws a circle around a womans crotch.
"whats this dad?"
"thats your answer son, everything inside the circle is the pussy and everything outside the circle is the bitch"
Page: 94.3333333333333 of 184  
   Advertising disclosure  
   Copyright 2002-2023  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk