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I put on a porn film, earlier.
It was really dark, and I could just make out a fat guy with his cock in his hand.
I then realzed, I'd forgotten to turn the TV on.
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In reply to Post #1350
She certainly does 
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In reply to Post #1349
Caught the Wife Masturbating during a Rowan Atkinson Movie earlier. She loves a good Bean Flick
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In reply to Post #1348
My pornstar friend died recently, so at his cremation, out of a mark of respect, we scattered his ashes all over his wife's face !!!
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In reply to Post #1342
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In reply to Post #1339
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I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and said, "Can you have my children? I'll be no longer than a few minutes, I promise."
"Sure," she replied,
I said, "Great, get your knickers off then."
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In reply to Post #1342
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In reply to Post #1339
 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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In reply to Post #1342
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Went down on my girlfriend this morning even though she was on her period.
Just getting into the spirit of Red Nose Day.
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In reply to Post #1339
...........
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In reply to Post #1339
nice one
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike
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In reply to Post #1337
A knob has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an *******, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' mean?
Dad: the dictionary says It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.
little Tommy comes home from school and is sitting eating his tea.
"mum what are bitches and pussy?"
his mothers annoyed but thinks for a second and then points to the dog "thats a bitch, its a female dog" she then points at the cat "and thats a pussy"
little tommy finishes his tea and goes to find his dad. "Dad what are bitches and pussy?" his dad thinks for a second, looks in a drawer and takes out a porn mag and draws a circle around a womans crotch.
"whats this dad?"
"thats your answer son, everything inside the circle is the pussy and everything outside the circle is the bitch"
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NON Carp stuff