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catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1353 16 Mar 2013 at 8.17am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1352
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1352 16 Mar 2013 at 6.55am  0  Login    Register
I put on a porn film, earlier.

It was really dark, and I could just make out a fat guy with his cock in his hand.

I then realzed, I'd forgotten to turn the TV on.
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2196
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #1351 15 Mar 2013 at 9.46pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1350
She certainly does
nwpiker41
Posts: 8093
nwpiker41
   Old Thread  #1350 15 Mar 2013 at 8.04pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1349
Caught the Wife Masturbating during a Rowan Atkinson Movie earlier. She loves a good Bean Flick
nwpiker41
Posts: 8093
nwpiker41
   Old Thread  #1349 15 Mar 2013 at 6.07pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1348
My pornstar friend died recently, so at his cremation, out of a mark of respect, we scattered his ashes all over his wife's face !!!
carpy09
Posts: 13803
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1348 15 Mar 2013 at 1.27pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
carpy09
Posts: 13803
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1347 15 Mar 2013 at 1.26pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1346 15 Mar 2013 at 12.32pm  0  Login    Register
I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and said, "Can you have my children? I'll be no longer than a few minutes, I promise."

"Sure," she replied,

I said, "Great, get your knickers off then."
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1345 15 Mar 2013 at 10.54am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1344 15 Mar 2013 at 10.54am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1343 15 Mar 2013 at 10.15am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1342 15 Mar 2013 at 10.10am  0  Login    Register
Went down on my girlfriend this morning even though she was on her period.

Just getting into the spirit of Red Nose Day.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22735
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1341 15 Mar 2013 at 10.04am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
...........
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1340 15 Mar 2013 at 7.48am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
nice one
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1339 15 Mar 2013 at 4.33am  0  Login    Register
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike
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