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In reply to Post #2339
Got felt up by a blind woman last night. She said I had the thickest, longest shaft she'd ever felt.
She was pulling my leg
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In reply to Post #2338
I've woke myself up three times this week with my snoring ,
So **** it , tonight I'm gonna go sleep in the spare room
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In reply to Post #1
So Jurgen Klopp has finally got his first win at Liverpool.
Apparently it was due to a motivational text from his older brother clippity.
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A woman knocked at our door and said she was
collecting for the new swimming pool so I gave her a bucket of water.
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In reply to Post #2334
 Like it
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In reply to Post #2333
Reminds me of
"Dad, there's a bloke at the door with a bald head"
"Tell him to piss off I've got one"
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In reply to Post #2332
My daughter said to me earlier "dad , there's someone knocking at the door with a beard ".
I said " well no wonder I couldn't bloody hear it then " .
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Teacher......who can tell me what chickens give you?
Sarah.........meat miss.
teacher......correct, now can you tell me what pigs give you?
Jane...........bacon miss
teacher.......that's right, who can tell me what fat cow gives you?
Billie...........homework
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In reply to Post #2330
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?
Because he's married.
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In reply to Post #2329
I love f5, it's so refreshing
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In reply to Post #2328
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In reply to Post #2327
Came home hammered the other night and was stumbling around at the bottom of the stairs making a right racket. "What the hell is going on?" Shouts the wife from the bedroom. "I'm trying to get a barrel of beer up the stairs" I replied. "Leave it downstairs you dozy ****" She says."I cant" Says I."I've drunk it"
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In reply to Post #2326
Even more valuable lesson learned today.......
Don't keep ralgex and anusol next to each other
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Valuable lesson learned this morning ,"...........
Don't keep anusol and Colgate on the same shelf
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