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I was sat crying on the bus when an old woman came over and asked if I was ok."I've done something really embarrassing," I replied, tears streaming down my face."Aww, it cant be that bad" she frowned, giving me her hankichief."I'm afraid it is," I sniffed, wiping the sh!t off my legs with it.
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In reply to Post #169
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In reply to Post #169
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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I went to a fancy dress party and saw a bloke with what looked like a rabbit hanging out of his mouth:"Nice one" I laughed, "you must be Warren.""No mate, I'm Dave" he said, "I've just got a hare-lip."
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Little know fact Danny wellbecks father is a bomb disposal expert called stan
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In reply to Post #167
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In reply to Post #166
A group of blokes, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, with tight skirts.
Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food and service was good and the wine selection was excellent.
Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
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My mate just told me that Rodney is dead.RIP Nicholas Lyndhurst.
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the queens corgis are pleased philip is out of hospital
there not getting blamed for pi$$ing on the settee anymore
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My mate does a brilliant bird impression. He takes about 4 fcking hours to get ready for a night out.
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When David Beckham scored for England, all the kids wanted Beckham haircuts. Sorry, Lescott, but I can't see this catching on.
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Joey Barton got attacked outside a Gay nightclub??? those Gay men really dont like c*nts do they!
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Someone just asked Rolf Harris, "Are you that bloke from the 70's who did 'Two Little Boys'?" He replied, "No that was Gary Glitter"
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In reply to Post #158
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