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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fek off, you won't bring it back."
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In reply to Post #382
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In reply to Post #382
FFS.......
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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Paddy's wife comes home from work to find he has nailed all her sex toys to the wall she screams you silly fooker paddy i said i wanted a DADO RAIL
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In reply to Post #379
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really like to see your handsome face ." She said James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!" Oh please? The girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Really, I can't", He replies. "my wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asks once more time and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into to bed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and says, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'
The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'
The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A bra and some jump-leads walked into a bar.The barman says I'm not serving u two! Your off your t.ts and your mate looks like he's gonna start something
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Two eggs boiling in a pan, one egg says to the other.. "I've got a huge crack!" the other egg replies "Stop f...ing teasing me, i'm not hard yet
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In reply to Post #375
fantastic
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In reply to Post #1
Hi, I'm hosting a charity disco and raffle night on the 6th October, to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.
If you can't come then let me know.
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I don't like to blow my own trumpet...but I just can't help myself since I had my bottom ribs removed.
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Sky Sports News Latest - The next 4 weekends of Premier League football are under threat as footballers struck down by a severe outbreak of diarrhoea.
They are all shi**ing themselves over John Terry's whereabouts during his 4 match ban.
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Well, whilst JT now has 4 games to sit out of he's probably gonna be bored....... If I was a Chelsea player i'd be making sure my wife/girlfriend goes overboard on the sunbeds and fake tan, he's less likely to be interested then
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In reply to Post #369
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