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All these years thinking i had a birth mark on my ar$e,now it turns out to be a cigar burn,hows about that then!
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In reply to Post #622
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Some woman knocked on my door earlier and said that she had lost her dog.
She said, "If you help me find it I will let you **** my fanny all night."
I said, "What does it look like?"
She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing."
I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss."
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In reply to Post #622
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In reply to Post #622
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As I stripped off my dates clothes I said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a man?"
"Damn," she replied, "I've spent £20,000 on surgery, have great tits, a nice tight pussy and a body to die for. What gave me away?"
I said, "Your mum's sewed 'KEV' nametags in all of your clothes."
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In reply to Post #617
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In reply to Post #615
like it
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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In reply to Post #617
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Yoko Ono is going in the jungle to advise on bush tucker survival. The slitty eyed f@cker has managed to live off a dead beatle for the last 30 years
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My son asked me why oysters are Aphrodisiacs.
"Not sure son, maybe because they smell like fannies."
"Ugh, is that what mum's is like?"
"You tell me," I replied, "you were the last one near it."
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In reply to Post #615
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one. The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.The Scouser said, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. ''Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.So off home he goes, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He holds it up to his ear and begins to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, Bolton, parts of Stoke on Trent and anywhere in N.Wales – and Sunderland
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In reply to Post #609
1 of the best in ages that lad !!!!
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In reply to Post #609
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