|
|
|
|
My wife was dressing for work and said..."How come your cock doesn't get as hard it used to?"
as she tucked her tits into her knickers!
|
|
|
|
Went to the doctors yesterday suffering from premature ejaculation. Doctor said, "This must be very stressful for your wife." I said,
"To be honest it's getting on her tits."
|
|
|
|
In reply to Post #734
Pmsl 
|
|
|
|
I ran my hands over her breasts, untied her legs, spread them and lifted them in the air to reveal her waiting juicy hole, I pushed in as much as I could until she could take no more.....
Right that's the turkey stuffed now to peel the potatoes....
|
|
|
|
I was in town shopping today and stopped a woman in the street.
"Excuse me love, have you any idea where I can get a decent jumper?"
"Have you tried Fat Face?" she replied.
"Good idea," I said.
"Do you know anywhere?" I said, turning to my wife.
|
|
| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
|
In reply to Post #734
|
|
|
|
In reply to Post #733
|
|
| | | noj | | Posts: 11459 | | | Social photographer... | |
|
The missus packed my bags and kicked me out last week.
As I walked down the garden path she shouted "I hope you live a miserable life and die a slow painful death you ****!"
"Make your bloody mind up, do you want me to go or not?"
|
|
|
|
"Why do men always fall asleep after they cum?", asked my wife.
"I don't know", I replied, struggling to open my eyes.
"Well, get off the toilet, I need a sh1t."
|
|
|
|
i phoned up the fishing helpline today and said
im crap at fishing , can you give me some tips,
the man said , okay , can you hold the line,
i replied no
|
|
|
|
|
My kids keep taking the pi$$ out of my alzheimer's. Wait till the cheeky little buggers wake up on Christmas and find no eggs under the bonfire.
|
|
|
|
I went into the estate agents looking for a flat earlier..
After talking it over with a pretty estate agent, I came away with a semi.
|
|
|
|
Hi Lads
I've been in hospital.
Just to let you know that im back home.
The doctors think that I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicssilicovalcanoconiosis,but at the moment its hard to say.
|
|
| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
|
|
Two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home. Sure enough on the way home the police were checking cars and drivers but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it
|
|
|
|
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fcuking red mark on her forehead.
|
|
