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Joke Thread (641,550 views)
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,234
#1889 2 Jul 2013 18:42
0
In reply to Post #1884
harveyboy
Posts: 1,540
#1890 3 Jul 2013 21:33
0
In reply to Post #1889
west midlands police are looking for 2 racist attackers-i have one application form who wants the other????
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#1891 4 Jul 2013 12:17
0
In reply to Post #1886
thorque
Posts: 1
#1892 4 Jul 2013 18:04
0
hakhak
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1893 8 Jul 2013 05:34
0
My wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now."

Horrified, she said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?"

"No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant."
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#1894 8 Jul 2013 18:09
0
Serena Williams has decided to shave her hair for charity.

From her chest to her bollox, no doubt.
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1895 9 Jul 2013 20:54
0
In reply to Post #1890
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1896 9 Jul 2013 20:57
0
investigators are interviewing the Korean pilot following Sats plane crash.Lan Ding Gon Wong says his velly solly.
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1897 9 Jul 2013 20:59
0
Well done the British bloke who won Wimbledon this year.
so much better than that scotch ****who lost last year.
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1898 10 Jul 2013 09:07
0
In reply to Post #1896
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1899 10 Jul 2013 12:03
0
In reply to Post #1893
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1900 10 Jul 2013 15:31
0
I saw my first Ethiopian DJ last night.

MT Stomach
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1901 10 Jul 2013 15:34
0
Me and my girlfriend were sitting relaxed, having a chat when I accidently sh1t myself.

I'd hoped she wouldn't notice, but then it floated to the top of the bath
nwpiker41 nwpiker41
Posts: 8,093
#1902 11 Jul 2013 15:04
0
In reply to Post #1901
Who says the Scotts are Tight?

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform,

marches into a pharmacy.

Very carefully he opens his sporran

and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, then

unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief,

which he also unfolds -

to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patches on it.

The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.

"Six pence" says the chemist.

"How much for a new one?"

"Ten pence" says the chemist.

The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the

silk square handkerchief

and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,

and marches out of the door,

shoulders back and kilt swinging.

A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,

followed by an even greater shout.

The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists

and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.

“We'll have a new one
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1903 11 Jul 2013 17:39
0
Ramadan Diaries
Monday - didn't wash
Tuesday - didn't wash
Wednesday - didn't wash
Thursday - didn't wash
Friday - didn't wash
Saturday - bought rucksack
Sunday - won't need to wash.
Are you sure?

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