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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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My son looked upset today so I asked him what was wrong.
He sat down on the sofa beside me and said, "Can I talk to you about having sex with my girlfriend?"
"Of course," I replied.
He said, "Can you stop doing it please
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The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked, Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?
Maria: Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better
Than you.
Wife: Who said you iron better than me?
Maria: Jor huzban he say so.
Wife: Oh yeah?
Maria: The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.
Wife: Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?
Maria: Jor hozban didâ
Wife increasingly agitated: Oh he did, did he?
Maria: The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, And did my husband say that as well?
Maria: No Senora¦ The gardener did.
Wife: So how much do you want?
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B&Q have know been dragged into the food scandal, apparently they have been selling wood floors with lamb in it.
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In reply to Post #1088
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In reply to Post #1085
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In reply to Post #1084
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In reply to Post #1082
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She didn't try to hide her disappointment when she pulled my cock out.
"You fcuking liar!" She said, "You told me it was 12 inches."
"It is," I insisted, "You just need to calculate the volume."
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In reply to Post #1090
Findus to sponsor Crystal Palace as they have been 100% pony for over 50 years...........
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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In reply to Post #1088
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A source has just told me,that Odemwingie has just arrived at the Vatican...
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In reply to Post #1087
I was working in Tesco's re-arranging boxes of soap powder in aisle 7,when in walks the blonde girl l'd scored with last night.she said "Oi! you told me you were a stunt pilot......you lying bast--d" I replied "No,I told you l was part of the Ariel display team.....!
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In reply to Post #1084
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In reply to Post #1084
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off
his
clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by
him
and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his
erection,
comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob
replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me
explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you
called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays
down
on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way
with
her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down,
and
farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a
firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says:
"Sir,
did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man:
"You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you
called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him
over
the bench and has his way with him.
Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked
receptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and key
back.
You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've only
been
here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our
facilities....."Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a
hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks
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