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Joke Thread (639,088 views)
Samjones_94 Samjones_94
Posts: 513
#164 12 Jun 2012 00:42
0
My mate does a brilliant bird impression. He takes about 4 fcking hours to get ready for a night out.
ralph69 ralph69
Posts: 10,398
#165 17 Jun 2012 19:35
0
the queens corgis are pleased philip is out of hospital
there not getting blamed for pi$$ing on the settee anymore
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#166 17 Jun 2012 20:35
0
My mate just told me that Rodney is dead.RIP Nicholas Lyndhurst.
Great-Blondini Great-Blondini
MODERATOR
Posts: 11,903
#167 18 Jun 2012 10:02
0
In reply to Post #166
A group of blokes, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, with tight skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food and service was good and the wine selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
Mr-Magoo Mr-Magoo
Posts: 9,626
#168 18 Jun 2012 18:06
0
In reply to Post #167
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#169 19 Jun 2012 08:06
0
Little know fact Danny wellbecks father is a bomb disposal expert called stan
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#170 19 Jun 2012 11:19
0
In reply to Post #169
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#171 19 Jun 2012 11:45
0
I went to a fancy dress party and saw a bloke with what looked like a rabbit hanging out of his mouth:"Nice one" I laughed, "you must be Warren.""No mate, I'm Dave" he said, "I've just got a hare-lip."
ralph69 ralph69
Posts: 10,398
#172 19 Jun 2012 12:13
0
In reply to Post #169
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#173 19 Jun 2012 20:06
0
In reply to Post #169
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#174 21 Jun 2012 07:15
0
I was sat crying on the bus when an old woman came over and asked if I was ok."I've done something really embarrassing," I replied, tears streaming down my face."Aww, it cant be that bad" she frowned, giving me her hankichief."I'm afraid it is," I sniffed, wiping the sh!t off my legs with it.
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#175 21 Jun 2012 18:07
0
England shock. Wayne Rooney has tested positive for a performance enhancing rug.
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#176 21 Jun 2012 19:15
0
In reply to Post #175
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#177 22 Jun 2012 22:03
0
Katie Price has been quoted as saying that 'Megan Fox or Kelly Brook could play her in any film adaptations of her books' as they come across as glamorous peopleIn related news Peter Beardsley has insisted that Brad Pitt play him in his upcoming football biopic
andy_carper001 andy_carper001
Posts: 584
#178 22 Jun 2012 23:21
0
In reply to Post #177
Just met Darth Vader's corrupt brother.


Taxi Vader.
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