8pm, the light has gone and the rods are on the spots. The lake is doing bites in the afternoons and early morning so I don't have to think twice about listening to my gurgling stomach and reaching for the bivvy loo.
CKs around my ankles, looking at the stars thinking does it get any better? Midway through the second ‘push' and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Im away. Should add, I forgot my receiver so my delks were up to the max as I'm a heavy sleeper. There was a few on too!
I genuinely haven't felt panic like it. Do I just grab the rod? Do I cut off and wipe?
I went for the second option however in the 30-40 seconds it took me to get to the rod, next door had appeared at my shoulder. Took him all of 20 seconds to clock the steaming bivvy loo at the entrance of my tempest.
Horrendous. Surely I'm not the only one?
CKs around my ankles, looking at the stars thinking does it get any better? Midway through the second ‘push' and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Im away. Should add, I forgot my receiver so my delks were up to the max as I'm a heavy sleeper. There was a few on too!
I genuinely haven't felt panic like it. Do I just grab the rod? Do I cut off and wipe?
I went for the second option however in the 30-40 seconds it took me to get to the rod, next door had appeared at my shoulder. Took him all of 20 seconds to clock the steaming bivvy loo at the entrance of my tempest.
Horrendous. Surely I'm not the only one?
In reply to Post #1
I turn the alarms off. The clickers on my reels are loud enough to alert me but not loud enough to make me look incompetent to the rest of the lake.
I turn the alarms off. The clickers on my reels are loud enough to alert me but not loud enough to make me look incompetent to the rest of the lake.
In reply to Post #1
I'm a 7am first pass then 10am second pass kind of guy - its like clockwork. 8pm is just weird . . .
Many a time have I been caught curling one out in the bivvy doorway on my now ageing camo taped/lagging lined bucket, puffing on a rolly (now my vaper) and watching the world go by - usually its another angler wanting an update on the nights activity; sometimes its a take . . .my advice - tighten your clutches slighty then tighten your ass - baby wipes to hand can usually keep you fresh(er) in the event of a one wipe emergency . . .keep spare grundies in your holdall and respect the bucket
I'm a 7am first pass then 10am second pass kind of guy - its like clockwork. 8pm is just weird . . .
Many a time have I been caught curling one out in the bivvy doorway on my now ageing camo taped/lagging lined bucket, puffing on a rolly (now my vaper) and watching the world go by - usually its another angler wanting an update on the nights activity; sometimes its a take . . .my advice - tighten your clutches slighty then tighten your ass - baby wipes to hand can usually keep you fresh(er) in the event of a one wipe emergency . . .keep spare grundies in your holdall and respect the bucket
In reply to Post #1
I recommend boat fishing, a long way away from prying eyes.... And a good stomach that allows the process to occur well away from bite time.
Haven't been caught out yet, but one day I'm sure company will happen in the form of a bass angler..and his wife😁
I recommend boat fishing, a long way away from prying eyes.... And a good stomach that allows the process to occur well away from bite time.
Haven't been caught out yet, but one day I'm sure company will happen in the form of a bass angler..and his wife😁
In reply to Post #1
What would Kevin maddocks do
What would Kevin maddocks do
In reply to Post #5
Kevin Maddocks would have positioned the bucket one inch from the butt of the rods, hit the take after one beep, hooked, played, landed, weighed, photographed and returned the fish all from a seated position before finishing his chore, no use of wet wipes however as they would have contaminated his hands.
Kevin Maddocks would have positioned the bucket one inch from the butt of the rods, hit the take after one beep, hooked, played, landed, weighed, photographed and returned the fish all from a seated position before finishing his chore, no use of wet wipes however as they would have contaminated his hands.
In reply to Post #6
Correct
Correct
I always have the alarms turned to silent or just loud enough to hear from my own swim, and also switch the receiver off when I take a number 2 just in case, then I do not have to panic so much if I get a run and the whole pond is turning out of there bivvies to see who has a run and taking so long to hit it.
A couple of years ago though I was busting for a number 3 and just as I was stepping out of the bivvy to retire into the bushes for one, my rod was away. Once I had hit the run and luckily it was a good distance away the fish, I just went to the side of my swim and had a number 3 before my bladder burst as I played the fish one handed holding it on a tight line.
Two other related incidents was in the early 2000's.
First time, it was a Winters night, I used to always watch a film to help kill the night on the DVD player before going to bed. On this occasion, I let the DVD player keep playing after the film as the credits rolled etc and went outside for a number 2 in my bucket urgently as I had been nipping it to see the end of the film out. The night was freezing cold, stars twinkling and very calm and pleasant to be out and I had peace with the World. All of a sudden, plain as day behind me, I heard a lion roar, from what sounded like in the bushes behind my bivvy and my hair stood on end in fright at what I heard, then it roared again and I cacked myself in fright. I got my pants pulled up as quick as I could and got in my bivvy quick to discover that the lion, was that bloody lion roaring that you get at the end of some films.
The second time, same swim, same circumstances and I was sat outside having a number two in the bucket. The swims in those days on this pond was covered in a layer of white chalk chippings. As I sat there in the moonlight looking down at the ground and my rods etc, I became aware of a huge shadow being cast on the white chalk chippings just in front of me of some winged monster of some kind and as the shadow was getting smaller, whatever it was was descending on me. Once again, my hair stood on end and I was cakking myself as I instantly ducked to ward off whatever it was and turned to look upwards to see what it was. Oh was I pleased to see it was just a Barn Owl hovering a few feet above me looking downwards at me and it was not one of the Black Riders sat on one of them winged monsters from the "Lord of the Rings" films about to grab me.
A couple of years ago though I was busting for a number 3 and just as I was stepping out of the bivvy to retire into the bushes for one, my rod was away. Once I had hit the run and luckily it was a good distance away the fish, I just went to the side of my swim and had a number 3 before my bladder burst as I played the fish one handed holding it on a tight line.
Two other related incidents was in the early 2000's.
First time, it was a Winters night, I used to always watch a film to help kill the night on the DVD player before going to bed. On this occasion, I let the DVD player keep playing after the film as the credits rolled etc and went outside for a number 2 in my bucket urgently as I had been nipping it to see the end of the film out. The night was freezing cold, stars twinkling and very calm and pleasant to be out and I had peace with the World. All of a sudden, plain as day behind me, I heard a lion roar, from what sounded like in the bushes behind my bivvy and my hair stood on end in fright at what I heard, then it roared again and I cacked myself in fright. I got my pants pulled up as quick as I could and got in my bivvy quick to discover that the lion, was that bloody lion roaring that you get at the end of some films.
The second time, same swim, same circumstances and I was sat outside having a number two in the bucket. The swims in those days on this pond was covered in a layer of white chalk chippings. As I sat there in the moonlight looking down at the ground and my rods etc, I became aware of a huge shadow being cast on the white chalk chippings just in front of me of some winged monster of some kind and as the shadow was getting smaller, whatever it was was descending on me. Once again, my hair stood on end and I was cakking myself as I instantly ducked to ward off whatever it was and turned to look upwards to see what it was. Oh was I pleased to see it was just a Barn Owl hovering a few feet above me looking downwards at me and it was not one of the Black Riders sat on one of them winged monsters from the "Lord of the Rings" films about to grab me.
In reply to Post #8
Whats a no 3 , only heard of 1 and 2
Whats a no 3 , only heard of 1 and 2
In reply to Post #9
nb 3 is known only to hung people because they have to use both hands so it is 1 plus both hands.
nb 3 is known only to hung people because they have to use both hands so it is 1 plus both hands.
In reply to Post #9
Think it might be a vigorous hand shake lasting more than 20 seconds at the end.
Think it might be a vigorous hand shake lasting more than 20 seconds at the end.
In reply to Post #9
>>>>>Whats a no 3 , only heard of 1 and 2"<<<<<
No 3 = "Having a wee / Pee ".
No 2 = "Having a Poo"
Did you never do poetry at school and have to rack your brains for rhyming words?
But, if you look in the "Urban dictionary", a Number 3 can be many things, including having a "Tug"
>>>>>Whats a no 3 , only heard of 1 and 2"<<<<<
No 3 = "Having a wee / Pee ".
No 2 = "Having a Poo"
Did you never do poetry at school and have to rack your brains for rhyming words?
But, if you look in the "Urban dictionary", a Number 3 can be many things, including having a "Tug"
In reply to Post #3
Bit like yourself very regular when it comes to bowel movements, 7:45 0n the dot, my problem is I don't wake up to 8:15
Bit like yourself very regular when it comes to bowel movements, 7:45 0n the dot, my problem is I don't wake up to 8:15
In reply to Post #12
Got it, im 8.25am
Got it, im 8.25am
In reply to Post #13
Thats an age thing and theres a product to help for that - maybe nash will bring a camo / terry lined version out?
Thats an age thing and theres a product to help for that - maybe nash will bring a camo / terry lined version out?
In reply to Post #15
Nash should bring out a camo colostomy bag. It'd perfectly compliment their existing luggage range
.
Nash should bring out a camo colostomy bag. It'd perfectly compliment their existing luggage range
.
In reply to Post #1
Thank you Sticky,
I've had one of those days at work, and came home with the grumps.
Reading your story, made me laugh out loud and cheered me up.
Thank you.
Thank you Sticky,
I've had one of those days at work, and came home with the grumps.
Reading your story, made me laugh out loud and cheered me up.
Thank you.
In reply to Post #15
maybe nash will bring a camo / terry lined version out?
I've tried the Avid one, it had a hole in it
maybe nash will bring a camo / terry lined version out?
I've tried the Avid one, it had a hole in it
In reply to Post #1
jesus this made me howl. id of cut and wiped. kept round 2 of your business for after the fish was landed
jesus this made me howl. id of cut and wiped. kept round 2 of your business for after the fish was landed
In reply to Post #9
My better half said I'm going for a Jimmy.
I said Riddle or Choo.
My better half said I'm going for a Jimmy.
I said Riddle or Choo.
I was fishing at Taverham, although they had a toilet it was a long walk back from the island, across the meadow up to the lodge, especially if you got THE URGE, so sometimes I used to go on the bucket at the back of the bivvy.
Doing that one day, and Klaus came round for a chat. I was stuck in position talking to him as he leaned round the bivvy door. I loved that bloke, always good to swap stories and information with, but right at that time I could have done without it.
On another occasion at Brackens Nazeing I had a severe migraine come on, don't know what caused it, but I was rough. I had no chance to hide away as I was fishing on Boards and the second I started to fill a bucket I was violently sick as well. Ye gods it was awful.
I've never had the fortune or misfortune to have a run (sic
) while having a pony, but occasionally had to have a pee while playing a fish.
Doing that one day, and Klaus came round for a chat. I was stuck in position talking to him as he leaned round the bivvy door. I loved that bloke, always good to swap stories and information with, but right at that time I could have done without it.
On another occasion at Brackens Nazeing I had a severe migraine come on, don't know what caused it, but I was rough. I had no chance to hide away as I was fishing on Boards and the second I started to fill a bucket I was violently sick as well. Ye gods it was awful.
I've never had the fortune or misfortune to have a run (sic
) while having a pony, but occasionally had to have a pee while playing a fish.
In reply to Post #1
Half way through rolling a joint was always a pain. Used to fish a runs water and if bites dried up roll one and just at the critical time of making said masterpiece off a rod would go.
Half way through rolling a joint was always a pain. Used to fish a runs water and if bites dried up roll one and just at the critical time of making said masterpiece off a rod would go.
In reply to Post #1
This is incredible
This is incredible
In reply to Post #1
halfway through releasing a chocolate hostage and a delk springs into life....
Thats when you need a clean break off
halfway through releasing a chocolate hostage and a delk springs into life....
Thats when you need a clean break off
In reply to Post #16
Whilst its a debilitating and extremely personal thing to have to live with, atleast you don't get caught mid curl.
Really what it needs is come DPM nappies.
probably minus the brown patches.
Whilst its a debilitating and extremely personal thing to have to live with, atleast you don't get caught mid curl.
Really what it needs is come DPM nappies.
probably minus the brown patches.
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