In reply to Post #108
I have been arrested for wasting police time, i thought i saw a kangaroo in my garden!! but it turned out to just be the neighbours grey hound taking a crap.
I have been arrested for wasting police time, i thought i saw a kangaroo in my garden!! but it turned out to just be the neighbours grey hound taking a crap.
In reply to Post #109
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman, its very rewarding and the sex is great but its also very challenging. It took me ages to get her husbands voice right!!
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman, its very rewarding and the sex is great but its also very challenging. It took me ages to get her husbands voice right!!
In reply to Post #110
Stephen hawking just came back from his first date in years!His glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees. apparently she stood him up!
Stephen hawking just came back from his first date in years!His glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees. apparently she stood him up!
In reply to Post #111
After our divorce i killed the wife and dumped her body but kept her *****. my new girlfriend hasn't a clue when i say im going upstairs to have a go on the ex box
After our divorce i killed the wife and dumped her body but kept her *****. my new girlfriend hasn't a clue when i say im going upstairs to have a go on the ex box
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler!
Go for the juggler!
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
In reply to Post #114
The lady next door came to my door asking if I knew anything about her washing missing from her clothes line.I almost sh.t her pants
In reply to Post #116
My mate set me up on a blind date....
He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right bloody idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!!!!!
My mate set me up on a blind date....
He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right bloody idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!!!!!
In reply to Post #1
Give a man a fish, and he'll feed his family for a day.
Give him a fishing rod, and he'll **** off for the whole weekend.
Give him a fishing rod, and he'll **** off for the whole weekend.
In reply to Post #119
In reply to Post #1
A big ole bird goes to the doc's and says "doc i've got a lump in each boob?"
.....Doc reply's " its you knee's love!!"
A big ole bird goes to the doc's and says "doc i've got a lump in each boob?"
.....Doc reply's " its you knee's love!!"
Ann Summers outlets are selling a new alcoholic vaginal gel for women... now when their man goes down, he can have a bevvy as well..!
Anti-drink campaigners, however, want it banned amid fears of 24 hour m1nge drinking......
Anti-drink campaigners, however, want it banned amid fears of 24 hour m1nge drinking......
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
"Where the **** have you been?" screamed my wife.
I said, "I've been playing poker with some blokes."
"Playing poker with some blokes?" she repeated. "Well, you can pack your bags and go!"
"So can you" I said, "This isn't our house anymore."
"Where the **** have you been?" screamed my wife.
I said, "I've been playing poker with some blokes."
"Playing poker with some blokes?" she repeated. "Well, you can pack your bags and go!"
"So can you" I said, "This isn't our house anymore."