Anyone got any tips to do it amicably with 2 kids?
Try to work out and agree on all the important things. Kids , money, payments, support, assets, house. Wills.
Write everything down and both sign it.
Hopefully it stays amicable if not get a separate lawyer then get a separation agreement .
Good luck.
Write everything down and both sign it.
Hopefully it stays amicable if not get a separate lawyer then get a separation agreement .
Good luck.
In reply to Post #1
Welcome to MGTOW. Ive worked in family law for a number of years. When it comes to an end Ive seen it done both well and very badly. Are you able to sit down together and discuss desirable outcomes? Its tough because you are currently going through a mechanism that is forcing you apart. A good part of your future wealth can easily go into trying to win.
As an aside, in almost all cases there is absolutely no reason for males to get married. However, most do because the female and her crew make it impossible to avoid. The church, the courts, Beyoncé and society have developed a way that heaps growing pressure on the male to give up half his hard earned wealth and his entire home if kids are involved. This is in the public interest but it does not favour the male. Any hard working male who wishes to retire to enjoy the fruit of the labour would be insane to get married.
Welcome to MGTOW. Ive worked in family law for a number of years. When it comes to an end Ive seen it done both well and very badly. Are you able to sit down together and discuss desirable outcomes? Its tough because you are currently going through a mechanism that is forcing you apart. A good part of your future wealth can easily go into trying to win.
As an aside, in almost all cases there is absolutely no reason for males to get married. However, most do because the female and her crew make it impossible to avoid. The church, the courts, Beyoncé and society have developed a way that heaps growing pressure on the male to give up half his hard earned wealth and his entire home if kids are involved. This is in the public interest but it does not favour the male. Any hard working male who wishes to retire to enjoy the fruit of the labour would be insane to get married.
In reply to Post #1
You don't stand a chance of it being amicable imo.Where children and money are involved the woman always wants the lot.Is it a mutual agreement to split or have you just had enough?
You don't stand a chance of it being amicable imo.Where children and money are involved the woman always wants the lot.Is it a mutual agreement to split or have you just had enough?
In reply to Post #1
The only people who benefit from a messy divorce/separation are the lawyers. Try to get as much agreed in principle before you start. Limit the amount of £200 letter they like to send to each other.
But be warned, at some point down the line she's going to try to shaft you. They all do. Women are ****s.
The only people who benefit from a messy divorce/separation are the lawyers. Try to get as much agreed in principle before you start. Limit the amount of £200 letter they like to send to each other.
But be warned, at some point down the line she's going to try to shaft you. They all do. Women are ****s.
In reply to Post #1
first off - sorry you find yourself there mate. It's horrible.
things will only remain amicable if you can talk openly and honestly and ALWAYS put the feelings of your children first.
Solicitors will drive a wedge between you - sometimes intentionally, sometimes not but it just seems to be hardwired in them to - as Justin says - 'win'. Try at all times not to see it in those terms - because once it heads that way, nobody wins.
Be careful with your words - learn to count to ten / read any emails at least 5 times before sending them - and then (where possible) leave them as a draft for a few hours so you don't react emotionally in the heat of the moment.
Look forward rather than backward to try and avoid raking over old arguments. Ask 'what can we do?' rather than focusing on what's already been done.
don't text / call late at night or after a drink. too easy to say the wrong thing when tired.
I'm speaking as someone who's done it and not got it all right. If you ever need to, drop me a PM
good luck mate
first off - sorry you find yourself there mate. It's horrible.
things will only remain amicable if you can talk openly and honestly and ALWAYS put the feelings of your children first.
Solicitors will drive a wedge between you - sometimes intentionally, sometimes not but it just seems to be hardwired in them to - as Justin says - 'win'. Try at all times not to see it in those terms - because once it heads that way, nobody wins.
Be careful with your words - learn to count to ten / read any emails at least 5 times before sending them - and then (where possible) leave them as a draft for a few hours so you don't react emotionally in the heat of the moment.
Look forward rather than backward to try and avoid raking over old arguments. Ask 'what can we do?' rather than focusing on what's already been done.
don't text / call late at night or after a drink. too easy to say the wrong thing when tired.
I'm speaking as someone who's done it and not got it all right. If you ever need to, drop me a PM
good luck mate
You'll get the outside and the Mrs gets the inside.
Good luck.
Good luck.
In reply to Post #3
This thread really shouldn't be here. It's a private matter and not for carp forum.
This thread really shouldn't be here. It's a private matter and not for carp forum.
In reply to Post #8
Why is that?Matt is just asking for some advice
Why is that?Matt is just asking for some advice
Read an article recently that said three things will come out of this pandemic.
Lots of babies
Lots of Divorces
Lots of Bankruptcy
Lots of babies
Lots of Divorces
Lots of Bankruptcy
In reply to Post #1
You have such a hard road ahead, sympathy from one who tried it.
Start with a divorce arbitrator rather than lawyers to settle finance and property. It's expensive but keeps it all courteous and transparent. A mistake I made, among many, was to agree to take things slowly but on reflection it probably does less damage to push it along quickly. The best thing was that I managed to stay close to my children (which can be more difficult than it first appears) but many I know did not and feel the pain to this day.
Good luck
You have such a hard road ahead, sympathy from one who tried it.
Start with a divorce arbitrator rather than lawyers to settle finance and property. It's expensive but keeps it all courteous and transparent. A mistake I made, among many, was to agree to take things slowly but on reflection it probably does less damage to push it along quickly. The best thing was that I managed to stay close to my children (which can be more difficult than it first appears) but many I know did not and feel the pain to this day.
Good luck
In reply to Post #1
Go for the custody of the kids! Be the dad they want to be proud of!
Go for the custody of the kids! Be the dad they want to be proud of!
In reply to Post #6
Good advice about the Solicitors, they are out to milk you with their £100 letters etc. I know a lad and he did the completely wrong thing, ended up in a stand off of situation with his wife, trying to screw each other other, back and forth to the solicitors, ended up costing him around 16k!!!
When I got divorced I had had enough and and we came to some kind of amicable agreement. Which for me is the best way forward. I gave her a note pad and said, 50 / 50 split, write down what you want I will have the rest, I'm going fishing lol.
We negotiated the list, to be fair, superficial things don't really bother me, there just objects and it was near on done. The one thing I did learn is there's nowt worse then woman, nasty bitches when they want to be, like cats. She was talking to some scoured woman at work which changed her mindset, trying to shaft me with everything, I want this now, OK I will swap you lol
One thing that really pissed me off, bitch cleared the loft out when I was at work and binned a load of my stuff, she wasn't bitter
Cost me around a grand
Life goes on mate.. Onwards and upwards, all part of our journey
In summary I would advise that you see a solicitor, the first consultation is usually free. It will put you mind at ease. Try your absolute best to keep it amicable (even if you find it frustrating!) and come to an agreement and try and stick to it until it goes through
Forgot, bricks and mortar are a much better investment than flat screen TVs and cars etc...
If you can't come to an agreement my advice would be to sell the house and take you share, then move on.
On reflection one of the best things I did. I got pestered into marriage and my life's passions were not the same as hers. The only thing we had on common, we went shopping together now and again
Good advice about the Solicitors, they are out to milk you with their £100 letters etc. I know a lad and he did the completely wrong thing, ended up in a stand off of situation with his wife, trying to screw each other other, back and forth to the solicitors, ended up costing him around 16k!!!
When I got divorced I had had enough and and we came to some kind of amicable agreement. Which for me is the best way forward. I gave her a note pad and said, 50 / 50 split, write down what you want I will have the rest, I'm going fishing lol.
We negotiated the list, to be fair, superficial things don't really bother me, there just objects and it was near on done. The one thing I did learn is there's nowt worse then woman, nasty bitches when they want to be, like cats. She was talking to some scoured woman at work which changed her mindset, trying to shaft me with everything, I want this now, OK I will swap you lol
One thing that really pissed me off, bitch cleared the loft out when I was at work and binned a load of my stuff, she wasn't bitter
Cost me around a grand
Life goes on mate.. Onwards and upwards, all part of our journey
In summary I would advise that you see a solicitor, the first consultation is usually free. It will put you mind at ease. Try your absolute best to keep it amicable (even if you find it frustrating!) and come to an agreement and try and stick to it until it goes through
Forgot, bricks and mortar are a much better investment than flat screen TVs and cars etc...
If you can't come to an agreement my advice would be to sell the house and take you share, then move on.
On reflection one of the best things I did. I got pestered into marriage and my life's passions were not the same as hers. The only thing we had on common, we went shopping together now and again
In reply to Post #9
This section is general carp discussion. Not marriage guidance........ if the guy needs some advice fair enough, but not here. It should be in non carp stuff. Looking at the majority of the comments so far, much of the advice looks like woman blaming, not advice.
This section is general carp discussion. Not marriage guidance........ if the guy needs some advice fair enough, but not here. It should be in non carp stuff. Looking at the majority of the comments so far, much of the advice looks like woman blaming, not advice.
In reply to Post #14
Agreed. Feel sorry for you must be hard but this really isn't the place for marriage advice. Can't think of anywhere worse to air it tbh
Agreed. Feel sorry for you must be hard but this really isn't the place for marriage advice. Can't think of anywhere worse to air it tbh