Hi All
I unfortunately found out today that one of my oldest friends is getting divorced. Great guy, wonderful family with 3 children going to waste.
The main reason behind it is his obsession with carp and the amount of time and money it took away from the family.
Kind of a big reminder its just a sport / hobby
There are more important things in life
Best
Jon
I unfortunately found out today that one of my oldest friends is getting divorced. Great guy, wonderful family with 3 children going to waste.
The main reason behind it is his obsession with carp and the amount of time and money it took away from the family.
Kind of a big reminder its just a sport / hobby
There are more important things in life
Best
Jon
In reply to Post #1
I cant wait for my divorce so I can actually go fishing.
I cant wait for my divorce so I can actually go fishing.
It's always a shame when a family is split for whatever the reason, life is a balance and getting the balance right is the difficult bit. I'm lucky I have an understanding wife of 38 years and two grown up daughters (and have always had a full time job). I normally spend four nights a month on the bank, spend a few days out of my annual leave when I feel I need to be on the bank and have an annual French break. But I also make time time for my family and respect my wife's hobbies/free time. I'm no angel but try to make the balance work and don't take the urine!
Sorry to hear of your mates plight I hope they can sort their marriage issues out.
Michael
Sorry to hear of your mates plight I hope they can sort their marriage issues out.
Michael
In reply to Post #1
Balance is required, give n take. Family is more important than fishing, if you have kids you can put fishing on the back burner for 15 years or so, just enjoy the time you do get out.
After that though you can get back into it👍
Balance is required, give n take. Family is more important than fishing, if you have kids you can put fishing on the back burner for 15 years or so, just enjoy the time you do get out.
After that though you can get back into it👍
Been there, done that, worn out the t-shirt! Thankfully my current wife now tells me to go fishing whenever I want & even comes to the tackle shops with me to buy me stuff!
In reply to Post #1
I made it quite clear to the Mrs that I love my fishing when I first met her, so she knows what to expect 😉
But now having 4 kids I rarely fish a weekend as it's family time waisted, I mainly stick to overnighters for 95% of my fishing and tbh I do alright and the family get to see me and are happy. It's all about balance.
I made it quite clear to the Mrs that I love my fishing when I first met her, so she knows what to expect 😉
But now having 4 kids I rarely fish a weekend as it's family time waisted, I mainly stick to overnighters for 95% of my fishing and tbh I do alright and the family get to see me and are happy. It's all about balance.
In reply to Post #6
Good man. Sounds like you've got it sussed.
Good man. Sounds like you've got it sussed.
In reply to Post #6
Yup. Completely agree with that. Even now, when the children have moved on, I seldom fish week ends.
I've been divorced once (nothing to do with fishing though) and it's too painful
to risk that again just to catch a fish.
Yup. Completely agree with that. Even now, when the children have moved on, I seldom fish week ends.
I've been divorced once (nothing to do with fishing though) and it's too painful
to risk that again just to catch a fish.
I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I threw away watching the kids grow up for the sake of a carp. I've turned down quite a few syndicates purely because I don't have the time they warrant and have already told myself my fishing will properly come back when they grow up. That said I do take the eldest fishing and he seems to enjoy it. Out of 4 kids one will be a fisherman if it kills me 😂😂
In reply to Post #9
Use to do 100 nights plus before kids but since my 2 daughters were born it went down to hardly any... Not because I couldnt do it it is just after 2 nights it just feels strange, I miss kids and wife to much. I probably cut my 4 days trips down to 2 on 90% of trips. I take my kids fishing with me but rhey want to see and do so many different things I dont have the heart to tie them to one activity. I think it comes natural off course in different forms to all of us and if you dont feel it than there are other issues involved in relationship not just fishing.
Use to do 100 nights plus before kids but since my 2 daughters were born it went down to hardly any... Not because I couldnt do it it is just after 2 nights it just feels strange, I miss kids and wife to much. I probably cut my 4 days trips down to 2 on 90% of trips. I take my kids fishing with me but rhey want to see and do so many different things I dont have the heart to tie them to one activity. I think it comes natural off course in different forms to all of us and if you dont feel it than there are other issues involved in relationship not just fishing.
In reply to Post #6
I'll always ask the Missus before I go. She has never said "No"....
Most of my fishing is done mid-week as I get Tuesdays off, and she is at work anyway.
Went to France for the week last year with my daughter and this year with some lads from White Cottage. She didn't have a problem with that.
Normally go to a lovely place called "The Retreat" and she will come with us as there is a smashing Gite there where she can relax. Fish early mornings and evenings only, day is spent doing what she wants to do. Be that shopping, bbq, restaurant etc.
She will be my net fairy on those trips and spend the time sitting lakeside reading a book, catching a bit of evening sun that sort of thing.
If it were ever a problem for her, I wouldn't go. Simples.
I'll always ask the Missus before I go. She has never said "No"....
Most of my fishing is done mid-week as I get Tuesdays off, and she is at work anyway.
Went to France for the week last year with my daughter and this year with some lads from White Cottage. She didn't have a problem with that.
Normally go to a lovely place called "The Retreat" and she will come with us as there is a smashing Gite there where she can relax. Fish early mornings and evenings only, day is spent doing what she wants to do. Be that shopping, bbq, restaurant etc.
She will be my net fairy on those trips and spend the time sitting lakeside reading a book, catching a bit of evening sun that sort of thing.
If it were ever a problem for her, I wouldn't go. Simples.
Many of us would admit that carp angling is an addiction but imo losing your family over it is unforgivable. I am as obsessed as the next man but the thought of losing the Mrs and lad over it renders me almost speechless.
You need to channel that energy into working around your family time, not replacing it.
You need to channel that energy into working around your family time, not replacing it.
In reply to Post #12
Well said . If I ever become close to losing everything I have over fishing I hope somebody gives me a good shake . When I first discovered carp fishing I did become very selfish with it , it did almost break me and my wife up (then girlfriend) Luckily I salvaged it and learnt a few lessons at the same time , I was a lot younger then and hadn't matured fully.
Well said . If I ever become close to losing everything I have over fishing I hope somebody gives me a good shake . When I first discovered carp fishing I did become very selfish with it , it did almost break me and my wife up (then girlfriend) Luckily I salvaged it and learnt a few lessons at the same time , I was a lot younger then and hadn't matured fully.
The effect that divorce has upon children can cause lifelong problems.
To cause all that for a carp is unforgiveable.
I used to fish a lot of nights for many years. I have now probably done 30 nights fishing in the last 10 years since having kids. Have I missed it...no! I still carp fish and have not compromised the integrity of my fishing in the slightest. Early morning sessions are a real eye opener. Getting down to the pit at 4am and fishing until 11am....it feels like a long trip when you are really up for it!
Anyway, my type of fishing is on the downward projectory....Low stock waters, history fish. The otters have seriously knackered things. But that's life, I have discovered fishing for barbel, big roach, pike etc etc....and guess what, you don't need to fish nights and knacker your family life doing it!
To cause all that for a carp is unforgiveable.
I used to fish a lot of nights for many years. I have now probably done 30 nights fishing in the last 10 years since having kids. Have I missed it...no! I still carp fish and have not compromised the integrity of my fishing in the slightest. Early morning sessions are a real eye opener. Getting down to the pit at 4am and fishing until 11am....it feels like a long trip when you are really up for it!
Anyway, my type of fishing is on the downward projectory....Low stock waters, history fish. The otters have seriously knackered things. But that's life, I have discovered fishing for barbel, big roach, pike etc etc....and guess what, you don't need to fish nights and knacker your family life doing it!
In reply to Post #14
Getting down to the pit at 4am and fishing until 11am....it feels like a long trip when you are really up for it!
You need to pass on your wisdom to me then mate as I'm also doing 4-11am morning sessions due to the little'n and it feels like it lasts abut 10 seconds
Getting down to the pit at 4am and fishing until 11am....it feels like a long trip when you are really up for it!
You need to pass on your wisdom to me then mate as I'm also doing 4-11am morning sessions due to the little'n and it feels like it lasts abut 10 seconds