At a job interview.

"What would you say was your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a **** what you think."

So a bloke has a hand transplant.. Surely they should have called it a handjob

"Why are your eyes red?" I asked my teenage son.

"I've been smoking dope, Dad," he said.

So I punched him in the face. The lying little emo ****er's been crying again.

Some men think that using a moisturiser after you've had a shave is a bit gay.

I don't, I just think it makes my legs lovely and soft.

The iPad Mini

For when you haven't got enough space in your bag for an iPad but still want to show people that you're a c#%t.

In reply to Post #488
lol

In reply to Post #423
seriously?!?

In reply to Post #419
lol!!!

JD Sports are doing Jimmy Saville memorial tracksuits..

They have an adult size top but you have to squeeze into kids bottoms.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says, "Fek off, you won't bring it back."