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Ben

I have a little Sat nav
It sits there in my car
- A Sat nav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are -

I have a little Sat nav
I'll have it all my life
It's better than the normal ones
My Sat nav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other road user
Has this advanced device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's very fraught
So why don't I just trade it in
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
And makes sure I am fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And keeps me warm in bed

Despite all these advantages
I know I've friends who scoff
The truth is I can't find the way
To turn the damned thing off.