In reply to Post #238
A pirate walks into a bar and the bar man says I haven't seen you in a long time are you ok.
Pirate says I'm fine gives us a pint. The bar man says how you come by your wooden leg,
Pirate says we ended up in a fire fight with a British frigate in the bay of Biscay a cannon ball took my leg off hence the wooden one. And how did you come by your hook, we boarded a Spanish gallion looking for treasure ended up in a sword fight and had my hand cut of so I got this hook, the bar man says we'll what happened with eye , pirate says we where sailing out of port great flock of segulls overhead and one cr--ped in my eye, hang on says the barman you don't lose an eye because of bird poo. The pirate says it was the first day out with my HOOK.

In reply to Post #243
Sik, I like that story

In reply to Post #2
A man walking along Redcar beach trips on an old bottle sticking out the sand ,so he digs it up and gives it a good rub to clean it of suddenly out pops a Genie, many thanks man says the Genie I've been stuck in that bottle for 2 thousand years right I'll be of now, hang on a minute mate says the man you owe me three wishes for letting you out, NoNo mate that only happens in Arabian night tales , still he says you did get me out the bottle I'll give you one wish what would you wish for, I've always want to see America, no problem well go on my magic carpet , the man says know I can't I'm always air sick same on ships always sea sick , look build me a motorway from this beach to New York , the Genie says man that will take me a fortnight, is there anything easier that I might get you, the man says some times I get lonely I could do with a good woman but she must be clever a good cook witty and a good conversationalist in short she has to be PERFECT. The Genie says and what was your first wish again ?