In reply to Post #1478

WARNING ABOUT EBAY

Be careful what you buy on ebay - if you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.

A friend has just spent £95, plus tax and shipping, on a penis enlarger.

They sent him a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight."

Glory holes in public toilets give me the willies.

Don't worry about the rising tensions in North Korea,we've sent the B52's over.

They'll soon surrender once they've had to listen to Love Shack a few times

My wife hates it when I say,"You're just like your mother!"

Actually,she hates it when I say anything during sex.

The new guy in prison is approached by a huge bodybuilder type in the shower on his first night.

He says to him, "as you're new here, you get the choice". "Do you want sex with, or without spit?"

The guy is thinking, with spit won't hurt as much, so he says, "w- w -with spit".

The big guy shouts over, "Hey Spit, the new guy wants a threesome."

Essex girl in car crash says "i think i have concussion" paramedic asks "how many fingers have i got up?" the girl replies "oh god, my f@nny's paralysed too!

In reply to Post #1484

In reply to Post #1485

Should be an easy game for Chelsea on Sunday.

DiCanio is fielding a team entirely of right wingers.

In reply to Post #1485

Pain is the part of the tattoo process that makes you appreciate them more. I love mine, even though it tore off some ball hair when I peeled off the paper.

In reply to Post #1485




1484

I was in the pub the other night and overheard three very hefty woman talking at the bar.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish,so i approached and asked,"hello,are you three lassies from scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched,"Its Wales,Wales you bloody idiot!"
So i apologized and replied,"I am so sorry.Are you three whales from Scotland?"
And thats the last thing i remember.

Paulo Di Canio has vowed "Sunderland will conquer Europe..........Starting with Poland.