In reply to Post #1358

In reply to Post #1352
class

My wife said she wanted to have sex on the golf course where I spend most of my Saturdays.

We arrived at the first green at about 2am, where after doing a sexy striptease, she lay naked on the grass and said, " Any hole's a goal."

" Oh my God! " I shouted. " Do you know anything about golf ?"

Sexually confused? I should say so. I don't know if I'm gay, straight or bi.

The only thing that turns me on is the thought of bumming a lesbian.

In reply to Post #1362
Haha

Seagulls really are the Chavs of the sky.

They skwawk at you aggressively while you're minding your own business, mess up your car when you leave it parked, breed recklessly and scavenge wherever they go, and still you can get into a lot of trouble if you shoot them.

A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, “Open the safe.”

She says, “This isn't a real bank; it's a sperm bank.”

He says, “Open the safe or I'll shoot.”

She opens the safe, and he says, “Now take one of the bottles and drink it.”

After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.

He says, “Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?

I hear Blue Peter are looking for a Transsexual presenter.

Here's one I made girlier

In reply to Post #1365

In reply to Post #1362

My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.

"I want you to go!" she screamed.

I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?"

"Go on, I'm listening." she replied.

I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."

You may like my collection of natural salt water and jizz.

Cum and sea.

Is 'Pussylips' one word, or should I spread them apart?

My wife said, "Where've you put my anal beads?"

At first I wouldn't tell her the truth, but in the end, she dragged it out of me.

In reply to Post #1372