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Joke Thread (638,950 views)
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1344 15 Mar 2013 10:54
0
In reply to Post #1339
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1345 15 Mar 2013 10:54
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In reply to Post #1342
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1346 15 Mar 2013 12:32
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I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and said, "Can you have my children? I'll be no longer than a few minutes, I promise."

"Sure," she replied,

I said, "Great, get your knickers off then."
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#1347 15 Mar 2013 13:26
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In reply to Post #1339
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#1348 15 Mar 2013 13:27
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In reply to Post #1342
nwpiker41 nwpiker41
Posts: 8,093
#1349 15 Mar 2013 18:07
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In reply to Post #1348
My pornstar friend died recently, so at his cremation, out of a mark of respect, we scattered his ashes all over his wife's face !!!
nwpiker41 nwpiker41
Posts: 8,093
#1350 15 Mar 2013 20:04
0
In reply to Post #1349
Caught the Wife Masturbating during a Rowan Atkinson Movie earlier. She loves a good Bean Flick
Mr-Bean-Laden Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2,243
#1351 15 Mar 2013 21:46
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In reply to Post #1350
She certainly does
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#1352 16 Mar 2013 06:55
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I put on a porn film, earlier.

It was really dark, and I could just make out a fat guy with his cock in his hand.

I then realzed, I'd forgotten to turn the TV on.
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1353 16 Mar 2013 08:17
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In reply to Post #1352
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1354 16 Mar 2013 08:26
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I was watching a documentary about Alzheimer's last night,when my wife turned to me and said,
"What a horrible condition,if i ever get Alzheimer's,i think i'll shoot myself," "I know"i replied,"you said that 5 minutes ago."
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#1355 16 Mar 2013 08:32
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In reply to Post #1352
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1356 16 Mar 2013 15:28
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'Large crack' opens on Dorset coastline.

A spokesman for Weymouth council says there is nothing to worry about, Jordan's holiday ends on Sunday.
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#1357 16 Mar 2013 15:30
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In reply to Post #1356
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#1358 16 Mar 2013 20:43
0
After much pressure from my mum, I finally agreed to take my alzheimers riddled grandad out to the pub for the afternoon.

I couldn't believe what a good time I had, and wish we'd done it sooner.

It was always his round.
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