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In reply to Post #1331
My computer beat me at chess. But it's no match for me at kick-boxing.

In reply to Post #1327

Get in lad

In reply to Post #1333
WOMAN'S DIARY
5 March 2013 Tuesday

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.

I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls
and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud,
so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.

He was still very subdued and distracted
so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself
- he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be
paying any attention to me or to what I was saying,
I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered
if he was going to come in,
He hesitated but followed.

I asked him what was wrong,
but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed,
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply,
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and,
to my surprise, we made love
- but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.

I cried myself to sleep -
I think he's planning to leave me -
maybe he's found someone else.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



MAN'S DIARY:

Tuesday 5 March

Man U lost.

Gutted.

Got a shag though

In reply to Post #1334

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In reply to Post #1327
quality

In reply to Post #1337
A knob has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an *******, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Son: Dad, what does 'gay' mean?
Dad: the dictionary says It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

little Tommy comes home from school and is sitting eating his tea.
"mum what are bitches and pussy?"
his mothers annoyed but thinks for a second and then points to the dog "thats a bitch, its a female dog" she then points at the cat "and thats a pussy"
little tommy finishes his tea and goes to find his dad. "Dad what are bitches and pussy?" his dad thinks for a second, looks in a drawer and takes out a porn mag and draws a circle around a womans crotch.
"whats this dad?"
"thats your answer son, everything inside the circle is the pussy and everything outside the circle is the bitch"

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike

In reply to Post #1339
nice one

In reply to Post #1339
...........

Went down on my girlfriend this morning even though she was on her period.

Just getting into the spirit of Red Nose Day.

In reply to Post #1342