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Joke Thread (638,917 views)
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1104 13 Feb 2013 13:24
0
In reply to Post #1101
Doyle Doyle
Posts: 2,148
#1105 13 Feb 2013 22:15
0
I got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that?

We stopped having sex years ago.
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1106 14 Feb 2013 04:59
0
In reply to Post #1105
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1107 14 Feb 2013 05:15
0
In reply to Post #1106
Roses are straight,

Violets are twisted,

Bend over love,

You're about to get fisted.


happy valentines day Girls
PPPIKER PPPIKER
Posts: 542
#1108 14 Feb 2013 11:32
0
In reply to Post #1107
Oscar Pistorius has been charged with murder even though he claims it was an accident.
Police spokesman say " He hasn't got a leg to stand on"
Carpbinhio Carpbinhio
Posts: 479
#1109 14 Feb 2013 13:57
0
In reply to Post #1108
Oscar pestorius was chilling having a few beers when his missus came home to suprise him for valentines day. She kept having a go at him so he shot her! Apparently she accused him of being legless!

Sorry I couldn't resist.
baggiebob baggiebob
Posts: 263
#1110 14 Feb 2013 15:28
0
In reply to Post #1109
Roses are red
Violets are gorgeous
But don't ever try to surprise Oscar Pistorrius !!!
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1111 14 Feb 2013 19:31
0
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorious
home that completely acquits him of his girlfriends murder.

Footprints
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1112 14 Feb 2013 19:46
0
In reply to Post #1111
I bought a valentines card for everyone at our local tourettes society.

It's the thought that c--ts
Doyle Doyle
Posts: 2,148
#1113 14 Feb 2013 21:21
0
In reply to Post #1112
What did Oscar Pistorius get for Valentine's day?...

20 years.
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#1114 14 Feb 2013 21:38
0
Roses are Red,
Rohypnol is clear,
That's why your mine,
For one night this year.
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#1115 15 Feb 2013 08:17
0
What's blue and full of haribo?

Kevin Webster's overalls.
Mr-Bean-Laden Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2,243
#1116 16 Feb 2013 13:22
0
I had the best valentines day ever. I had sex with the most gorgeous fit blonde I have ever seen.

Being the mortuary assistant in Pretoria has its perks.
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1117 16 Feb 2013 19:51
0
In reply to Post #1115
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1118 17 Feb 2013 15:45
0
An old man and his wife have gone to bed.

After laying in bed for a few minutes, the old man cut a fart and says, "seven points."

His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"

The old man says, "Touchdown. I'm ahead 7 to nothing."

A few minutes later, the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about ten minutes, the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7.

Now starting to get into this, the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

The old man strains really hard, but to no avail -- he can't fart.

So not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more fart.

Straining, the old man tries so hard, he sh1ts the bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides
Are you sure?

This action cannot be undone.

Yes, continue

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