Hazard kicked the ball boy for keeping the ball.Torres would've missed him, Cole would have shot him and Terry would've shagged his mother!!!Chelsea through and through.
In reply to Post #969
Attendance call on the first day back at school in Birmingham. The teacher begun calling out the names of the pupils;
"Mustafa al Eih Zeri?" "here."
"Achmed el kbul?" "Here."
"Fatima Al Hayek?" "Here"
"Ali Addul Olmi?" "Here"
"Mohammed Bin kadir?" "here"
"Ali son al Len" Silence in the classroom.
"Ali Son al Len" continued silence as everyone looked around the room.
She repeated,"is there any child here called Ali Son al Len?"
A girl rose and said,Sorry teacher.I think that's me.It's pronounced Alison Allen.
"Mustafa al Eih Zeri?" "here."
"Achmed el kbul?" "Here."
"Fatima Al Hayek?" "Here"
"Ali Addul Olmi?" "Here"
"Mohammed Bin kadir?" "here"
"Ali son al Len" Silence in the classroom.
"Ali Son al Len" continued silence as everyone looked around the room.
She repeated,"is there any child here called Ali Son al Len?"
A girl rose and said,Sorry teacher.I think that's me.It's pronounced Alison Allen.
In reply to Post #957
I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.
Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park
Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park
A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my sisters though.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my sisters though.
police are searching for 2 peados who are posing as work men, clearing snow from primary school, advised to be on the look out for JIMMY SHOVEL and GARY GRITTER
My wife has the most breathtaking vagina.
One time, she opened her legs and killed the budgie.
One time, she opened her legs and killed the budgie.
In reply to Post #973
I walked over, the little boy must of known what I wanted but he cowardly bent over trying to stop me getting what I wanted from him. As I came cautiously up behind he dropped to the floor cupping what I wanted to see the most, I put my arms around his stomach to tease his arms away, it didn't work so I tried to force his arms away so I could get a good glance at what I was here for, but still the child resisted... By now my patients was wearing thin so I angrily kicked him and took the ball from him, stupid ball boy.
In reply to Post #978
In reply to Post #978
A man walks into a drug store with his 10-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
"Those are for married men.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.
Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
"Those are for married men.
Jen's friend Amy is complaining about having a sore throat.
"When I have a sore throat, I always give my husband a blow job and, as long as I swallow, it feels better the next day. You should try it," says Jen.
The next day, they meet up and Amy is all smiles.
"How did it go, then?" asks Jen. "Wonderfully!" beams Amy. "Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea
"When I have a sore throat, I always give my husband a blow job and, as long as I swallow, it feels better the next day. You should try it," says Jen.
The next day, they meet up and Amy is all smiles.
"How did it go, then?" asks Jen. "Wonderfully!" beams Amy. "Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea
In reply to Post #982
