Lady: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your f@cking Ferrari??
Guy: Yes I do.
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your f@cking Ferrari??
In reply to Post #652
How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
-None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
-None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
In reply to Post #654
One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labour with 3 children.
Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.
So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.
When she got to the hospital she was OK and the babies were fine as well.
16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mum mum guess what?"
"What?"
I pi$$ed out a bullet.
So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mum mum guess what I pi$$ed out a bullet."
So the mum told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mum mum guess what?"
The mum said "let me guess you pi$$ed out a bullet."
"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"
Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.
So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.
When she got to the hospital she was OK and the babies were fine as well.
16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mum mum guess what?"
"What?"
I pi$$ed out a bullet.
So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mum mum guess what I pi$$ed out a bullet."
So the mum told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mum mum guess what?"
The mum said "let me guess you pi$$ed out a bullet."
"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"
In reply to Post #656
bumped into noel edmounds the other day,so i said to him if you dont give me a 100k,i will tell the police i gave you a **** on swap shop, deal or no deal........
bumped into noel edmounds the other day,so i said to him if you dont give me a 100k,i will tell the police i gave you a **** on swap shop, deal or no deal........
Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment.
We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed.
We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed.
Kate Middleton has just announced she's 4 weeks pregnant,coincidentally John Terry has been injured
for five weeks.........Hmmmm
for five weeks.........Hmmmm
I threw a second-hand, charity shop sweater at my wife earlier, saying
"There you go, merry Christmas."
She burst into tears and cried "You don't ****ing love me any more, do you?"
"Of course I do, look." I said.
"There's three X's on it's label, you fat bitch."
"There you go, merry Christmas."
She burst into tears and cried "You don't ****ing love me any more, do you?"
"Of course I do, look." I said.
"There's three X's on it's label, you fat bitch."
I've opened a bakery recently and a lady phoned me up,wanting a cake
with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SUCK COCKS"written on it.l thought it was weird
but made it anyway.Mrs Cox was f--king furious when i delivered it.so
was her son,Issac
with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SUCK COCKS"written on it.l thought it was weird
but made it anyway.Mrs Cox was f--king furious when i delivered it.so
was her son,Issac
In reply to Post #661
In reply to Post #660
Paddy asked his wife what she'd like for Christmas? She said, "I'd love a black I-Pad."
So he punched her.
So he punched her.
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't f.ck
her
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't f.ck
her
In reply to Post #665