As I stripped off my dates clothes I said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a man?"
"Damn," she replied, "I've spent £20,000 on surgery, have great tits, a nice tight pussy and a body to die for. What gave me away?"
I said, "Your mum's sewed 'KEV' nametags in all of your clothes."
"Damn," she replied, "I've spent £20,000 on surgery, have great tits, a nice tight pussy and a body to die for. What gave me away?"
I said, "Your mum's sewed 'KEV' nametags in all of your clothes."
In reply to Post #622
In reply to Post #622
Some woman knocked on my door earlier and said that she had lost her dog.
She said, "If you help me find it I will let you **** my fanny all night."
I said, "What does it look like?"
She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing."
I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss."
She said, "If you help me find it I will let you **** my fanny all night."
I said, "What does it look like?"
She said, "It's a big, black, fluffy thing."
I said, "No thanks love, I'll give it a miss."
In reply to Post #622
All these years thinking i had a birth mark on my ar$e,now it turns out to be a cigar burn,hows about that then!
In reply to Post #1
Stephen Hawking returned from his first date in 10 years with a black eye, bruises, scrapes, and a twisted ankle. Apparently she stood him up.
Stephen Hawking returned from his first date in 10 years with a black eye, bruises, scrapes, and a twisted ankle. Apparently she stood him up.
A husband comes home drunk, vomits and falls down on the floor... Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.
Next day when he gets up, he expects her to be really angry with him... He prays that they would not have a fight.. to his surprise, he finds a note near the table that reads:
“Honey, your breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I love you.”
He asks his son about what happened last night, his son told:
When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt.. you were dead drunk and you said... “Hey lady! Leave me alone... I'm married!”
Next day when he gets up, he expects her to be really angry with him... He prays that they would not have a fight.. to his surprise, he finds a note near the table that reads:
“Honey, your breakfast is ready on the table, I had to leave early to buy groceries. I love you.”
He asks his son about what happened last night, his son told:
When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt.. you were dead drunk and you said... “Hey lady! Leave me alone... I'm married!”
Sad news Marti Pellow has Arthritis.
He feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes.
He feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes.
The BBC have cancelled Bob The Builder, apparently they don't trust anyone who can fix it now...
In reply to Post #631
In reply to Post #632
i was chatting to a gypsy bird in the pub last night when she asked "would you like to come back to mine for a good time" she was'nt f***in kidding either..i went on the waltzers,the ghost train & the dodgems, i even came home with a goldfish!
i was chatting to a gypsy bird in the pub last night when she asked "would you like to come back to mine for a good time" she was'nt f***in kidding either..i went on the waltzers,the ghost train & the dodgems, i even came home with a goldfish!
In reply to Post #633
In reply to Post #633
In reply to Post #633
Nice yan
Nice yan