Apparently Lady Gaga's developed a nut allergy.

Guess that explains the recent rash on her inner thighs.

19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over.

An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat

Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . ”Bugger that!" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?

Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby

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Some goodens their mate

In reply to Post #584

I walked into WH Smiths and asked "do you have that new self help book for men with small cocks?"Girl says "I don't think its in yet."I said"yeah that's the one.

Paddy walks into the doctors straight in to the doctors room and boots him right in the knackers and says "thats for telling my wife she's got a nice F@nny"" i told her she had Acute Angina " the doctor replied

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I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap.

In reply to Post #589

Experts have predicted that by 2025 you will be no more than six feet away from an ex Chelsea manager.