In reply to Post #516

In reply to Post #512
like alot

I woke up this morning and my wife was getting ready for work.I said,"that blouse is a bit see through and it needs a f--king good ironing",she glared and said, "What blouse?"

I got so sick of the trick and treaters the other night that i turned out the light and pretended i'm not in.
F--k the ships.My lighthouse,my rules

I told my wife that the chemistry has gone from our relationship.

She can't get anti-depressants any more and I've run out of Viagra.

In reply to Post #515
breaking news......tropical storm Sandy has now been officially upgraded to 'British Summer'

joke removed,due to lack of adult sense of humour,its only a joke you womble

In reply to Post #523
thats sick mate

In reply to Post #523
i thought it was funny,in fact i nicked it and stuck it on facebook some people take things too seriously it was a joke

have you been struggling to make ends meet just now?

Do your outgoings far exceed your income?

Is the cost of this Christmas be coming a f--king big worry?

Well now would be a good time indeed to say Jimmy Savile w@nked you off....

Who am i ??

I was all over the tv in the 70s and 80s but i have been largely obscure for the past 25 years.
I am closely linked with music of the 60s.
I am famous for wearing tacky shiny shell suits and sh-t haircuts.
I have been in trouble with the police and despised by the whole country......
And the answer is...............................A Liverpool Fan.

I saw a teenage girl busking today. She had a great voice, and an even better pair of legs, emphasised by the short skirt she was wearing."Any requests?" She asked the watching crowd."Your thong," I replied with a wink.Everyone gasped in horror, and the girl slapped me.It's tough being an Elton John fan with a lisp.

I absolutely love my wifes @rse.It's not sexy or anything,but everytime i see it,i know she's f--king off

In reply to Post #528

a fairy granted me a wish today , i said "i want to live forever"
the fairy said "sorry , cant do that"
i said " ok then , i want to die when arsenal win the league"
the fairy said " you crafty sod"