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Joke Thread (638,639 views)
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#380 29 Sep 2012 09:45
0
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really like to see your handsome face ." She said James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!" Oh please? The girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Really, I can't", He replies. "my wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asks once more time and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into to bed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and says, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#381 29 Sep 2012 13:31
0
In reply to Post #379
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#382 30 Sep 2012 16:39
0
Paddy's wife comes home from work to find he has nailed all her sex toys to the wall she screams you silly fooker paddy i said i wanted a DADO RAIL
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#383 30 Sep 2012 16:50
0
In reply to Post #382
FFS.......
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,231
#384 30 Sep 2012 16:55
0
In reply to Post #382
MrGrantski MrGrantski
Posts: 953
#385 30 Sep 2012 16:57
0
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says, "Fek off, you won't bring it back."
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#386 30 Sep 2012 17:00
0
What do Rio Ferdinand and Jeremy Forrest have in common?

Both have absolutely fcuk all chance of getting Bale.
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#387 30 Sep 2012 17:16
0
In reply to Post #386
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#388 30 Sep 2012 17:18
0
Whats gareth gates and jeremy forrest got in common??

They both been fu**ed by stammers!
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#389 30 Sep 2012 17:35
0
In reply to Post #388
Pastyparade Pastyparade
Posts: 311
#390 30 Sep 2012 20:46
0
Heres a joke.......

Your vigina should be called jasmine.......
because it always got al-lad-in
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#391 1 Oct 2012 19:31
0
Dear Jim
,Please could you fix it for the girl in my class who I really fancy to come on holiday with me.

Yours sincerely,


Jeremy Forrest, 30.
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#392 1 Oct 2012 21:28
0
Police were called to a cemetery in Leeds last night after local residents reported hearing the sound of clanging metal.Turned out it was just Jimmy Saville turning in his grave.
ralph69 ralph69
Posts: 10,398
#393 1 Oct 2012 23:28
0
In reply to Post #391
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#394 2 Oct 2012 14:54
0
Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lotto!

I agreed, and they were right.

We all stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!
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