In reply to Post #364
i wouldnt think her fannys that tight
i wouldnt think her fannys that tight
I got a rash after tipping a can of lager into my wife's fanny and then lapping it out.
The doctor's advised me against ***** drinking.
The doctor's advised me against ***** drinking.
For some reeson,
I've never yet won a gaim of skrabel.
I've never yet won a gaim of skrabel.
In reply to Post #364
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.
"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.
"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
In reply to Post #369
In reply to Post #369
Well, whilst JT now has 4 games to sit out of he's probably gonna be bored....... If I was a Chelsea player i'd be making sure my wife/girlfriend goes overboard on the sunbeds and fake tan, he's less likely to be interested then
Sky Sports News Latest - The next 4 weekends of Premier League football are under threat as footballers struck down by a severe outbreak of diarrhoea.
They are all shi**ing themselves over John Terry's whereabouts during his 4 match ban.
They are all shi**ing themselves over John Terry's whereabouts during his 4 match ban.
I don't like to blow my own trumpet...but I just can't help myself since I had my bottom ribs removed.
In reply to Post #1
Hi, I'm hosting a charity disco and raffle night on the 6th October, to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.
If you can't come then let me know.
Hi, I'm hosting a charity disco and raffle night on the 6th October, to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.
If you can't come then let me know.
In reply to Post #375
fantastic
fantastic
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one egg says to the other.. "I've got a huge crack!" the other egg replies "Stop f...ing teasing me, i'm not hard yet
A bra and some jump-leads walked into a bar.The barman says I'm not serving u two! Your off your t.ts and your mate looks like he's gonna start something
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'
The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'
The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'
'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'
The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'
The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'