Watched a Bollywood porn movie last night, Come Dan Singh.

A man with no legs was sitting on a blanket at the beach.

Three women, from England , Wales and Scotland were walking past
and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said “Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said “No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said, “No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and said,

“'Ave ya ever been f*cked, laddie?"

The man broke into a big smile and said, “No".

She said, "Aye, well ya will be when the tide comes in."

A vicar happened to chance upon a young girl walking her dog. "Hello little girl, what's your name?" he enquired. "Rosemary", she replied. "My mummy was going to call me Mary but whilst lying in the garden, a rose petal fell on her tummy with me inside and so she called me Rosemary". "Oh, that's lovely" said the vicar. "And what's your doggies name?" "Porky", she replied. "It's that because he's a little bit fat?" asked the vicar. "No", she replied, "it's because he f*cks pigs!"

My mate just rang me and he has unfortunately caught Covid 19 from his cat....dont ask meow

In reply to Post #2683
Crackers

in reply to # 2682

I had a gay mate who played football in a "pink" league. He was a big Wolverhampton Wanders fan and had their initials tattooed on his buttocks. Every time he dropped the soap in the shower and went to pick it up, all his mates said "WoW!"

Oops, wrong thread.

Watch this, the funniest thing I've ever seen on YouTube. Two religious nutcases handing down their judgement on Covid 19, while a bloke accompanies it with a heavy metal overlay.

Absolute nutters!

In reply to Post #2689
I've seen a few of his videos. Bloody brilliant. You should check out the one with the angry shoppers...

In reply to Post #2690
Or watch this one. An American women is terrified after the Trump election debacle and screams into her phone, priceless!

Heavy Metal Karen

Not the best of drives from Tiger Woods, straight in the rough

A women has been married for a few years and visits her mother. During the conversation, she mentioned that there had been some problems "in the bedroom." "I've been married to your father for 30 years and so nothing nothing you say can shock me." she said. "Well" replied the daughter, "he wants to stick it in my other other hole." "That's disgusting" boomed the mother, "I hope you refused." "Oh, of course I did" replied the daughter, "I don't want a houseful of bloody kids!"

In reply to Post #2693
Love it, although I admit had to think about it a few moments

Oxford University commissioned a study to understand why the penis has a bulbous tip. After several years research and many millions of pounds spent, they concluded it was to heighten the sexual pleasure gained by the male.

Not to feel left out, Cambridge University also commissioned a study and after several years and many millions of pounds spent, they concluded it was to heighten the pleasure gained by the female.

The Jocks felt they had to chip in their two pennyworth and commissioned Glasgow University to conduct a study. After several years and many millions of pounds spent, they concluded it was to stop the male from smashing into his forehead!