In reply to Post #2319
Tel
Tel
Our dog died yesterday, the wife named him Cigarette I don't know why, he had no legs but he always seemed to be happy, I'm gonna miss taking him out for a drag 
In reply to Post #2321
I'm thinking about kicking my missus out , every time I try and have a piss in the sink it's always
full of washing up .
I'm thinking about kicking my missus out , every time I try and have a piss in the sink it's always
full of washing up .
In reply to Post #2322
You think thats bad, when I went to piss in the sink someone left the tap running, I was there for ages
You think thats bad, when I went to piss in the sink someone left the tap running, I was there for ages
After too many visits to the "Pleasure Parlour"
(the house of horizontal refreshment)
JimmyAd notices green lumps
On his wedding tackle. So off he goes to the doctor.
The doctor explains "You know how wrestlers and rugby
players get cauliflower ears?"
"Yes" says Jim, nodding seriously.
"Well" says the doctor, "You've got Brothel Sprouts."
(the house of horizontal refreshment)
JimmyAd notices green lumps
On his wedding tackle. So off he goes to the doctor.
The doctor explains "You know how wrestlers and rugby
players get cauliflower ears?"
"Yes" says Jim, nodding seriously.
"Well" says the doctor, "You've got Brothel Sprouts."
In reply to Post #2310
Lol such long topic
Lol such long topic
Valuable lesson learned this morning ,"...........
Don't keep anusol and Colgate on the same shelf
Don't keep anusol and Colgate on the same shelf
In reply to Post #2326
Even more valuable lesson learned today.......
Don't keep ralgex and anusol next to each other
Even more valuable lesson learned today.......
Don't keep ralgex and anusol next to each other
In reply to Post #2327
Came home hammered the other night and was stumbling around at the bottom of the stairs making a right racket. "What the hell is going on?" Shouts the wife from the bedroom. "I'm trying to get a barrel of beer up the stairs" I replied. "Leave it downstairs you dozy ****" She says."I cant" Says I."I've drunk it"
Came home hammered the other night and was stumbling around at the bottom of the stairs making a right racket. "What the hell is going on?" Shouts the wife from the bedroom. "I'm trying to get a barrel of beer up the stairs" I replied. "Leave it downstairs you dozy ****" She says."I cant" Says I."I've drunk it"
In reply to Post #2328
In reply to Post #2329
I love f5, it's so refreshing
I love f5, it's so refreshing
In reply to Post #2330
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?
Because he's married.
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?
Because he's married.
Teacher......who can tell me what chickens give you?
Sarah.........meat miss.
teacher......correct, now can you tell me what pigs give you?
Jane...........bacon miss
teacher.......that's right, who can tell me what fat cow gives you?
Billie...........homework
Sarah.........meat miss.
teacher......correct, now can you tell me what pigs give you?
Jane...........bacon miss
teacher.......that's right, who can tell me what fat cow gives you?
Billie...........homework
In reply to Post #2332
My daughter said to me earlier "dad , there's someone knocking at the door with a beard ".
I said " well no wonder I couldn't bloody hear it then " .
My daughter said to me earlier "dad , there's someone knocking at the door with a beard ".
I said " well no wonder I couldn't bloody hear it then " .
In reply to Post #2333
Reminds me of
"Dad, there's a bloke at the door with a bald head"
"Tell him to piss off I've got one"
Reminds me of"Dad, there's a bloke at the door with a bald head"
"Tell him to piss off I've got one"