In reply to Post #2229
Don't worry about that, beauty is only a light switch away

In reply to Post #2230

Two little kids in prams outside Tesco

1st Hello

2nd Hello (blushing slightly )

1st I've been watching you

2nd have you

1st yeah, your a girl ain't yer

2nd yes I am

1st I thought so, your lovely and I wish I was in your pram
with you in fact I wish I was in your nappy with you

2nd you do........why is that

1st I've filled mine

A doctor goes into a ward to see a pregnant lady who's had bad stomach cramps and fears for her
Unborn child, well dear he says , there's good and bad news, we've run some tests and the bad news is
It's got ginger hair . Oh no , she cries , what's the good news , doc replies , it's dead

In reply to Post #2233

A doctor visits a patient in the recovery ward, he says I've got good news and bad news, whats the bad news? asks the patient, your good foot has been amputated by mistake then the bad foot had to be done as well, OK whats the good news?, the guy in the end bed wants to buy your slippers

I gave a bird a lift in my car the other day, she kept looking at me and eventually said "can you drive with one hand" oh yes I replied, well wipe yer f****** nose yer making me sick

Pulled up at the lights in my van today and farted , it stank, laughing to myself I wound the window down
For some fresh air .
This little sort pulls up next to me , glances across , starts smiling and winds her window down ,
I said to her , have you farted aswell

A schoolteacher asks her class “what is the fastest thing you know of”?

Sarah: A thought miss, when you think it happens in an instant.

Very good Sarah, anyone else?

Robert: A blink miss, it happens before you realize it.

OK, any more?

Jane: Light miss, when you turn on the light switch its there before you know it.

Well done everybody,

Billy sticks his hand up and shout's diarrhoea miss, last week on the way to the toilet before I could Think, Blink, and turn the light on I'd s*** myself.

two men on the 8.15 train from Reading to London, after a while one says that's it done the Times crossword as he folds his newspaper, the other man says I'm stuck on 7 across, female relation, 4 letters ending with UNT, why it's AUNT of course, just then a vicar pops his head round the seat and says anyone got a rubber?

In reply to Post #2239
Two paddys leave a bar .................... Well , it could happen

In reply to Post #2239
Paddys in court on a armed robbery charge , the jury return to give their verdict .
Not guilty , says the judge .
Excellent shouts paddy , does that mean I can keep the money

In reply to Post #2241
A woman goes to the opticians for an eye test, the optician covers her left eye and says read the letters on the chart, she says sorry I can't read any of them, so he covers her right eye and says can you read any of them now, no I'm sorry I can't see any at all, he unzips his fly and unleashes the beast and says can you see that, oh yes I can see that alright, that's your problem then, what!! your cock eyed

A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that the Wii GameBoy
he received isn't what he was expecting.

Boom Boom

I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
Tel