In reply to Post #1972
In reply to Post #1973
MY wife got a vibrator, still don't know how to use it, broke 3 teeth last night
MY wife got a vibrator, still don't know how to use it, broke 3 teeth last night
the vicar see's little Johnny walking down the road with a bottle
Vicar.....hello Johnny how are you today and what have you there in the bottle?
Johnny....It's acid
Vicar....that's very dangerous Johnny, can i swap it for some holy water, the other day i rubbed some on a ladies belly and she had a baby
Johnny....That's nufink i put some acid on my dog's nut's and he overtook a motorbike.
Vicar.....hello Johnny how are you today and what have you there in the bottle?
Johnny....It's acid
Vicar....that's very dangerous Johnny, can i swap it for some holy water, the other day i rubbed some on a ladies belly and she had a baby
Johnny....That's nufink i put some acid on my dog's nut's and he overtook a motorbike.
If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?
worst decision i ever made was having a penis extension...
my house looks ****ing stupid now
my house looks ****ing stupid now
The missus packed my bags and threw me out, as I walked out the door she screamed "I hope you have a slow and painful deaths you old *******" "oh" I replied, "so you want me to stay now"
Boom Boom
Boom Boom
The wife's sister knocked me out yesterday, I was so f----ng angry, what sort of a sick bitch puts chloroform into her dirty knickers!!
In reply to Post #1980
Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea
Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
.
Q: What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both bugger-all use in Europe.
Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What do you call 20 Manchester United Fans skydiving from an aeroplane?
A: Diahorrea
Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
.
Q: What have Man Utd and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both bugger-all use in Europe.
In reply to Post #1981
city supporter ???
city supporter ???
In reply to Post #1978
my ex-wife is spreading false rumours about me being schizophrenic.
Well, three can play that game
Well, three can play that game
ive just had some great financial news.
the little african kid that i sponsor has
been eaten by a lion.
the little african kid that i sponsor has
been eaten by a lion.
In reply to Post #1982
either that or his missus has ran off with,Ryan Giggs
either that or his missus has ran off with,Ryan Giggs
In reply to Post #1986
gone a bit quiet on the joke front recently :(
gone a bit quiet on the joke front recently :(
I fell asleep at a party last night and someone put a tea bag in my mouth.
i went mental,nobody treats me like a mug!
i went mental,nobody treats me like a mug!