said to my missus earlier , how pissed off i was with next doors cat ****ting in the garden.
she told me to to get a shovel and chuck it over the fence , so i did .
afterwards , i thought , well... that was pretty ****ing pointless , now they've got my shovel
and i've still got there cat ****
she told me to to get a shovel and chuck it over the fence , so i did .
afterwards , i thought , well... that was pretty ****ing pointless , now they've got my shovel
and i've still got there cat ****
In reply to Post #1929
All this talk of the royal baby is bringing back some painful memories. Last time I was third inline for the throne I shat myself in wetherspoons.
All this talk of the royal baby is bringing back some painful memories. Last time I was third inline for the throne I shat myself in wetherspoons.
I pulled a local slag last night and took her back to my place for sex.
As i laid on the bed watching the sperm dribble out of her *****,i immediately thought to myself,"well,at least i won't need lube."
As i laid on the bed watching the sperm dribble out of her *****,i immediately thought to myself,"well,at least i won't need lube."
Latest from Old Trafford,Rooney wants a transfer.Moyes says"put it in writing,Rooney decides to stay.
Walt Disney's new film called "Jet black",the non racist version of snow white,has been put on hold.
Apparently all of the 7 dwarfs,dealer,stealer,mugger,forger,drive by,pimp and leroy have refused to sing "hi ho"because they say it offends black prostitutes.
They also say they have no intention of singing "its off to work we go".
Apparently all of the 7 dwarfs,dealer,stealer,mugger,forger,drive by,pimp and leroy have refused to sing "hi ho"because they say it offends black prostitutes.
They also say they have no intention of singing "its off to work we go".
I am going out with a muslim girl,but she is nothing like you would think,she drinks like a fish and bangs like a **** house door in a gale!!
Her phone has been off for a couple of days,so i rang her father last night and he said she is getting stoned.Now thats what i call one understanding and cool dad.
Her phone has been off for a couple of days,so i rang her father last night and he said she is getting stoned.Now thats what i call one understanding and cool dad.
This Rooney hating thing has gone too far. I'm outside Old Trafford & there's a guy burning small effigies of Rooney & selling them to fans. Oh, hang on....its a baked potato stand.
In reply to Post #1931
gud un
gud un
In reply to Post #1933
Kin ell Paul
Kin ell Paul
In reply to Post #1937
selling all my old dogging gear on ebay-no bids as yet but loads of watchers!
selling all my old dogging gear on ebay-no bids as yet but loads of watchers!
In reply to Post #1935
An 8" canister was found outside a mosque today
the local muslims said they had never seen anything like it
experts are not ruling out deoderant
the local muslims said they had never seen anything like it
experts are not ruling out deoderant
I was given the job of interviewing Kate Middleton's midwife.
"What colour hair did it have?", I asked.
"None at all, completely bald," he replied.
"Is it cute?"
"It was beautiful, one of the cutest I've ever seen," he added.
I said, "Now lets talk about the baby."
"What colour hair did it have?", I asked.
"None at all, completely bald," he replied.
"Is it cute?"
"It was beautiful, one of the cutest I've ever seen," he added.
I said, "Now lets talk about the baby."
In reply to Post #1941
Irish Medical Dictionary.
Artery- The study of paintings
Bacteria- back door to café
Barium-What doctors do when patients die
Cat scan- Search for kitty
Cauterize-made eye contact with her
Enema-not a friend
Fester-Quicker than someone else
Impotent-Distinguished
Post operative-A letter carrier
Tumour-One plus one more
Urine-Opposite of your out
Irish Medical Dictionary.
Artery- The study of paintings
Bacteria- back door to café
Barium-What doctors do when patients die
Cat scan- Search for kitty
Cauterize-made eye contact with her
Enema-not a friend
Fester-Quicker than someone else
Impotent-Distinguished
Post operative-A letter carrier
Tumour-One plus one more
Urine-Opposite of your out
In reply to Post #1
Minnie Mouse and Micky Mouse in the divorce court, after the summing up the judge says to Micky " having buck teeth is not suitable grounds for divorce" Micky says i didn't say she had buck teeth, i said "she f***ing Goofy".
Minnie Mouse and Micky Mouse in the divorce court, after the summing up the judge says to Micky " having buck teeth is not suitable grounds for divorce" Micky says i didn't say she had buck teeth, i said "she f***ing Goofy".