What's white and works in Mc donalds?
The fridge.
The fridge.
In reply to Post #1914
gud un 
gud un
In reply to Post #1909
In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him.
They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."
"Correct." The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who the fcuking father is
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him.
They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."
"Correct." The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who the fcuking father is
some crackers there lads 
After landing my new job as a Asda greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. Here's what happened:
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Asda."
I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Don't be fcuking stupid. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one' s 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone fcuked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda."
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Asda."
I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Don't be fcuking stupid. Of course they aren't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one' s 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone fcuked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda."
Double sprint world champion Tyson Gay has tested positive for a substance he could not identify and is pulling out of next month's world championships in Moscow.
To be fair, he's not the first gay to test positive and have to pull out before it's too late.
To be fair, he's not the first gay to test positive and have to pull out before it's too late.
In reply to Post #1919
In reply to Post #1919
In reply to Post #1922
fed up with this weather-am sweating more than a paedo in the playground
fed up with this weather-am sweating more than a paedo in the playground
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
A rip off.
In reply to Post #1924
Wayne Rooney still undecided about joining Chelsea, apparently Colleen is yet to agree personal terms with John Terry.
Wayne Rooney still undecided about joining Chelsea, apparently Colleen is yet to agree personal terms with John Terry.
Congratulations to John terry and Kate on the birth of their baby boy
The new Chinese lad at work must be really religeous
He keeps talking about his praystation
He keeps talking about his praystation