In reply to Post #1883
got chatting to this bird in the pub last night and was telling her about my talent
of being able to tell what day of week a woman was born on , just by playing with her tits.
she stuck her chest out and said "go on then , prove it"
after about 3 minutes of me fondling her tits she says " well, what day was i born on then ?
i said , ****ing yesterday

In reply to Post #1884

I went out with a girl last night and asked her back to my place.She said,"I just want to tell you,I don't sleep with someone on a first date."

I replied,"That's okay,once I've fcuked you I'll phone a taxi to take you home so you can sleep in your own bed.

In reply to Post #1884

One day this thirty year old virgin stats getting these extremely painful sensations around her vagina. She goes in to her gynecologist and he ask her about her sex life. She replies I'm a virgin so there is no sex. He ask about her public bathroom usage habits. I work from home and I always use the bathroom before I go shopping. So there is no public bathroom usage. After a few more questions he gives her an examine and comes back saying " ma'am, I don't know what's wrong but you definitely don't have crabs". She says that she wants a second opinion and sees another gynecologist. He ask all the same questions and she gives all the same answers. He gives her an examination and comes back with the same results as the first dr. So she decides to get a third opinion. She sees a third doctor, gets asked all the same questions, gives all the same answers and receives yet another examine. The dr comes in and says I have some good and some bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs. The bad news is that your cherry's so ripe you have fruit flies

In reply to Post #1884

In reply to Post #1889
west midlands police are looking for 2 racist attackers-i have one application form who wants the other????

In reply to Post #1886

hakhak

My wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now."

Horrified, she said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?"

"No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant."

Serena Williams has decided to shave her hair for charity.

From her chest to her bollox, no doubt.

In reply to Post #1890

investigators are interviewing the Korean pilot following Sats plane crash.Lan Ding Gon Wong says his velly solly.

Well done the British bloke who won Wimbledon this year.
so much better than that scotch ****who lost last year.

In reply to Post #1896