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Joke Thread (638,974 views)
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1719 15 May 2013 18:53
0
In reply to Post #1718
David Moyes has said he's going to find it really hard to leave Everton as his car is still sitting on bricks.
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1720 15 May 2013 18:57
0
Liza Tarbuck must be really embarrassed.
Not because of her father's arrest.
But because shes a fat,talentless ****.
deaffred deaffred
Posts: 4,820
#1721 15 May 2013 21:53
0
There is a new cofee shop opening in Liverpool for the younger clientele




Tarbucks
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1722 15 May 2013 21:53
0
A man with a penis for a nose is standing in a bar, "How do I drink my pint without my nose dipping in it?" he sobbed to the barmaid.

"Come here," she said spitting on the palm of her hand, "it's not hard."
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1723 16 May 2013 03:37
0
In reply to Post #1720
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1724 16 May 2013 03:38
0
In reply to Post #1722
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1725 16 May 2013 16:42
0
My wife warned me not to even think about sticking my cock in her arse when taking her doggie style, but its been obsessing me for ages.

And when one of my favorite Motown classics came on the radio I took a deep breath and went for it.

I just couldn't resist the temptations.
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1726 16 May 2013 16:43
0
What has hit more balls than David Beckham's right boot?

Katie Price's chin!
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#1727 16 May 2013 16:44
0
In reply to Post #1725
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1728 16 May 2013 19:11
0
In reply to Post #1722
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1729 16 May 2013 19:12
0
In reply to Post #1725
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1730 17 May 2013 14:21
0
An old lady came into my Vet Surgery earlier with her Bull Mastif.

"Could you help me?" She asked, "Everytime I get down on my hands and knees to clean the floors, my Freddy mounts me and frantically humps me, which can be very painful!"

"Would you like me to castrate him?" I asked.

"No thank you," she replied, "Could you cut his toenails please?"
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1731 17 May 2013 14:23
0
Heard some moaning coming from upstairs as I walked in from work today, so ran up to the bedroom to investigate. I opened the door to find my wife naked on the bed, four fingers jammed up her sopping hole.

As she saw me stood there, she put on a real show for me and brought herself to a noisy, wet orgasm before my eyes.

"So what would you like me to do for you now, baby?" She asked, as she got her breath back.

"Change the ****ing duvet?"
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#1732 17 May 2013 14:27
0
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. The pain was so intense that the decided to return to the clubhouse for help.

Her pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I was stung by a bee," she replied.

"Where?" He asked.

She said, "Between the first and second hole."

He nodded knowingly and said, "Your stance is too wide."
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#1733 18 May 2013 10:14
0
In reply to Post #1732
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