In reply to Post #1597
In reply to Post #1597
just seen My ex girlfriend in the supermarket."Sarah Green,"I said,"How are you?" "i'm okay," she replied.
"What's that you're buying?" i asked, "pile cream??you have big fat piles?"She looked around,then looked back at me and said, "Dave,could you be any louder?" "i'm afraid not," i replied, "This is the loudest the tannoy can go".
"What's that you're buying?" i asked, "pile cream??you have big fat piles?"She looked around,then looked back at me and said, "Dave,could you be any louder?" "i'm afraid not," i replied, "This is the loudest the tannoy can go".
Three women were discussing the relationship between their husbands' behaviours and the naming of their children.
The first woman said, "My husband likes plenty of alcohol, so we named our child Brandy."
The second one said, "My husband likes sweets, so we named our kid Candy."
The third woman being ashamed of her husband's behaviour rose up and shouted at her son - "DICK,LET'S GO HOME"
The first woman said, "My husband likes plenty of alcohol, so we named our child Brandy."
The second one said, "My husband likes sweets, so we named our kid Candy."
The third woman being ashamed of her husband's behaviour rose up and shouted at her son - "DICK,LET'S GO HOME"
In reply to Post #1602
I came home from work early and found my wife in the bedroom laying on the bed stark naked with a labrador licking chocolate spread from her pussy.
I said, "What the hell is going on?"
She said, "I was feeling horny and I couldn't wait for you to get home."
I said, "But who is that sitting in the lounge downstairs with dark glasses and a white stick?"
I said, "What the hell is going on?"
She said, "I was feeling horny and I couldn't wait for you to get home."
I said, "But who is that sitting in the lounge downstairs with dark glasses and a white stick?"
Liverpool appealing to the FA to see if they can get Suarez's ban extended.
In reply to Post #1605
Lucky for Newcastle that Suarez wasn't playing, or it could have been ate.
In reply to Post #1607
I had Audley Harrison in front until they rang the bell for the first round.
In reply to Post #1601
In reply to Post #1607
My boss called me in the office today, to have a word.
"Would you like to explain your self," he demanded.
I thought for a second, and then said,
"My name's Dave, I've got red hair, a bit chubby; I'm a 33 year old virgin, and I regularly w@nk over that photo of your daughter on your desk, when you are out for dinner"
"Would you like to explain your self," he demanded.
I thought for a second, and then said,
"My name's Dave, I've got red hair, a bit chubby; I'm a 33 year old virgin, and I regularly w@nk over that photo of your daughter on your desk, when you are out for dinner"
A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..