The couple were making out on the sofa,and he says,"How bout it Sal,it's only a week until we get married,let's do it now."
"Oh,no Stan,"she replies."We promised we wouldn't.Can't you wait another seven days?"
Stan looks at her sadly."Ok Sal,but how about if you just give me a hint of what's to come.Go on Sal,unbutton your shirt and let me have a feel of your beautiful boobs."
"Well,ok."replied Sal and she undid her shirt.
"Oooh Sal,that's wonderful.Will you just do one more thing for me?Will you let me have a sniff of your pussy?"
So Sal relented,dropped her knickers and let Stan have a sniff.
"HOLY FCUK,Sal!!" he says,lifting his head and taking a deep breath,"Are you sure that thing will last another seven days?

3 man we're up on a cliff the first man looked at the third man and said I am going to drink this beer and throw it over my back then jump off the cliff and float back up the second man said I would love to see that so the first man drunk the beer threw it over his back and jumped off the cliff he started to fall and fall then he started to float backup the second man said to the third man I'm going to try that so he drunk his beer threw it over his back jump off the cliff and he fell and fail and hit the ground splat dead The Third Man looked at the first man and said Superman your a d1ck when you're drunk

A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.

A passing tramp stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself, if you don't mind, could we have sex please?"

The woman says, "No, fcuk off."

The tramp turns to leave and replies, "Fine, I'll just go and wait at the bottom.

In reply to Post #1556

In reply to Post #1555

In reply to Post #1
[From the old thread] Our sex life was waning, so I said to the wife we should try a little role-playing to spice things up a bit. I said, "Would you like to play a rape game?" She said "No way!" I said, "That's the spirit!"

Stuart Hall is to commentate on his new TV show.

'It's a cock out' hits the screens this Autumn.

I've just been watching Margaret Thatcher's funeral and I've gone through an entire box of tissues.

Her granddaughter is something else.

In reply to Post #1560

In reply to Post #1561

In reply to Post #1563
A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off. A passing tramp stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself, if you don't mind, could we have sex please?" The woman says, "No, f**k off." The tramp turns to leave and replies, "Fine, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."

In reply to Post #1564
#1556

In reply to Post #1552

Women wake up yawning and men with an erection.

Coincidence?

I think not.

In reply to Post #1566
A top British scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bouncing up and down and prevents nipples from sticking out in cold weather,his colleagues have kicked his +++++++ head in!