In reply to Post #203
Knicked.

In reply to Post #205

In reply to Post #203
Nice 1 si...

I got home from work last night to find my wife missing and a message scrawled across the living room wall in her lipstick:We've got your wife. If you want to see her again do not call the cops. Wait by your phone for our ransom demands!!This is going to cost me a fortune.£7.99 a roll, that fu**ing wallpaper!

In reply to Post #203

In reply to Post #208

In reply to Post #208
went down a treat this cracker

I turned to my mother-in-law and said, "That look really suites you, I wish you'd looked like that twenty years ago."My wife shouted across the room, "What the f... you doing near my mother's coffin?"

our local flasher was going to retire. but after giving it much thought,has decided to stick it out for a bit longer

In reply to Post #213
The Giggle loop
If you remember the series Coupling you will remember Jeff explaining this

A mosquito landed on my balls...

Hardest decision of my life.

In reply to Post #215
i rang babe station the other night , a woman answers and says "hi ,what can i do for you , i said
"****ing hide, my wifes coming and ive lost the remote"

I pulled up outside a school and said to a young girl, "I'll give you some sweets if you get in the car."She replied, "F**k off dad. You bought the damn Skoda now you have to live with it."

I bet Katie Price could find Wally in about five seconds if he had his cock hanging out.

Im'e not sure who invented the halal meat slicer, but you can bet Abu Hanza had a hand in it !