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   Old Thread  #1789 31 May 2013 at 8.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1788
Pmsl
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   Old Thread  #1788 31 May 2013 at 1.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Try this puzzle.....its amazing!!! This maths sequence can predict your favourite film. Mine was Goodfellas.....Not sure how it knows but it IS my absolute fave film.....it does work!!!

Pick a number between 1 & 9

Multiply it by 3

Add 3 to that number

Multiply again by 3

Add the two digits together and see results below:

3. Oliver Twist

4. Star Wars

5. Goodfellas

6. Saving Private Ryan

7. Jaws

8. Grease

9. The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Goats and Leather-Clad, Oiled-Up Lady Boys.

10. Mary Poppins

See......it's spot on!!!!!
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   Old Thread  #1787 30 May 2013 at 8.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
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   Old Thread  #1786 30 May 2013 at 6.45pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 he owes me?"
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   Old Thread  #1785 30 May 2013 at 6.42pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife insists I take off my socks during sex...

All THREE of them.
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   Old Thread  #1784 30 May 2013 at 6.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was talking to one of the girls on Babestation last night.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Gary," I said. "You've got great tits."

"Thanks, Babe," she replied.

"And that arse is to die for," I continued.

"Aw, you're a sweetie," she smiled.

"Now, lick your nipples," I growled.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"Lick your nipples," I repeated, sliding my pants down. "And play with your clit at the same time."

She looked to her left and said, "Dave... This new cameraman's a bit creepy."
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   Old Thread  #1783 29 May 2013 at 6.19pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1782 29 May 2013 at 5.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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at school teacher said right where is pakistan? jonny says out there playing football with paki dave
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   Old Thread  #1781 29 May 2013 at 3.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1780 29 May 2013 at 7.15am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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gud un!
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   Old Thread  #1779 28 May 2013 at 10.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
After a long night of making love, Danny rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked Sheila if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, Sheila replied, "That's me before the operation."
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   Old Thread  #1778 28 May 2013 at 8.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My girlfriend hates it when I slip my cock out of her and finish myself off over her pussy.

She says his hair gets really matted.
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   Old Thread  #1777 28 May 2013 at 4.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was watching football when the wife sat beside me,stroked my cock through my jeans and whispered,"fancy a ****?"
I said, "you're after something" "No i'm not," she protested.
"Yes you are,"i said. "You're after match of the day.Come back in an hour.
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   Old Thread  #1776 27 May 2013 at 6.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I met a bloke from Oklahoma this morning.

In my garden.
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   Old Thread  #1775 27 May 2013 at 1.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Lionel Richie is to be opening a kebab shop just for Muslims, Halal is it meat your looking for!
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